The Lost and the Broken
by Ihopeitsbenign
Summary: Reid's in love and in a relationship for the first time. It is a lot more awkward than being the youngest kid in college. Lots of mishaps and misunderstandings that come with having a genius IQ and no social skills. Changed rating to M.
1. Chapter 1

**I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

**Chapter 1**

"In a minute" Morgan yelled, "I mean.. Spen- Reid, please give me a minute to collect my thoughts."

Reid nodded nervously his considerable brain beginning to work furiously. Scanning over every word, intonation, connotation real or implied that may have given his secret away. _The jig is up_. Quickly schooling his face into what he hoped was not a mask of sheer terror he waited for the words that would seal his fate.

Morgan paced in front of him still muttering to himself. His scuffed boots wore a path in the gray carpet, the noise they made unnaturally loud in the pressing silence. Reid fought the urge to fidget, the desire to fall to his knees in contrition almost impossible to ignore. _He knows, He knows, He knows. I can't even think it just in case telepathy became a real thing while I was working on my thesis for a real science. But just in case don't even think it, God; I've been spending too much time with Garcia. There's no such thing as psychics just a bunch of con artists with a reasonable grasp of statistics cold reading their unsuspecting victims._

"….th me."

_What did he say?_ Reid had been thinking too hard rambling on to himself and missed what Morgan was trying to say. Just read his face. Okaay he's giving nothing away either. Damn profilers! Just nod. His head bobbed along with his thoughts, but what if it was something he didn't want to hear…_take it back, take it back_. He quickly turned the head bob into a sideways shake.

Morgan's face dropped just a little before settling back into his usual affable conviviality. A movement so minute only a handful of people on the planet would have caught it.

Oh god he knows. Deny, deny, deny, you aren't going to lose him over an unproven lifestyle choice. A few dreams and musings late at night in the privacy of your apartment aren't indicative of sexual preference and if _he'd_ provoked many a torrid fantasy that led to violent emissions that was his private business.

"So you don't – uh think that over time maybe it would work out?" Morgan asked his voice a low rasp.

_Oh my God what is happening?_ He's disappointed. Now he's turning away, "get out of your head", Reid scolded himself as he rushed after the darker man slamming into him when he stopped abruptly. Reid flinched away before he clung to the heat of Morgan's back like a crazed spider monkey. He backed up even further when Morgan turned around.

"I know it's a lot to take in and I know that to you it seems kind of sudden and out of the freaking left field but I have been thinking about us for awhile. Longer than I'm willing to admit. I know that I'm not a good bet. Between the history and all the women I'm a fucking mess – I know that. " The break in his voice was heartbreaking to hear. "You are good Reid, so good and I'm covered in so much crap. But I love you and I promise you it will be enough."

_This is a dream. It has to be. _

"Reid please say something – in words. Come on. You're good at those. Statistics about gay couples in law enforcement making it or crashing and burning? Say anything."

"I – us, huh?" he squeaked, fumbling to stand up straight and look his best friend in the eye despite the fact that his spine had just turned to jello.

**This is my first story please be kind.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction.**

**Nannily and AppleInMyEye thank you so much for my first reviews ever as well as everyone who put this story on alert. Thank you. Thank you. You've encouraged me to keep on writing which means more than I can say.**

**Chapter 2**

"JJ.. phone" Will nudged her awake as the loud jangle of her cellphone tore through their bedroom. After fumbling around in the dark she followed the faint green glow to find her phone buried between her pillow and headboard.

"'-ello"

He snagged her wrist as she got out of bed. "Where you going?" he mumbled, his Cajun accent even thicker with sleep.

"Its Reid. I wont be long. Go back to sleep."

Closing the bedroom door carefully behind her she peeped in on Henry before making her way downstairs.

"Reid, its 3 o'clock in the morning, are you okay?"

"Yes I'm great. I just need to talk about uh- some uh -stuff and I'd usually call Derek about this kind of thing but I cant talk to him yet because of what happened. And I know it's late and the polite thing would be to wait till morning. Did I wake you? Of course I did. Despite all evidence to the contrary I was raised better than this, my mother would be so disappointed. She used to say, "Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy." Its by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"Spence, sweetie slow down. How much coffee have you had?"

"I'm way under the estimated LD_50 which is about 10 grams for _oral_ administration. A lethal dosage varies from individual to individual according to weight. Ingestion of 150mg/kg of caffeine seems to be the LD_50 for all people."

"Spencer, Spence, Reid" she interrupted. "It's the middle of the night I just put Henry to bed. Can you just sit, take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't think I should sit right here."

" Why not? Where are you?

"Right outside your door."

"God, Reid why didn't you start with that?" she asked as she rushed over to the front door typing in the key code.

And there he stood tall and skinny, shaking like a leaf in the late night breeze, awkwardly waving at her. In no time at all she had him parked at her kitchen table a hot cup of chamomile tea in hand.

"So," she started laying a plate of reheated lasagna in front of him, "what has you so upset you are wondering the streets in the dead of night. You better than anyone knows the crime statistics in this city."

"I needed time to think," he replied quietly, "something happened. I have to talk to someone I'm just not sure where to start."

"How about you start at the beginning and get to you freezing on my front porch?'

"Um -given the enormity of the event I'm not sure how to simplify it - my beginning or his?"

"Spencer- tell you what, when I hold up one finger you will tell me one sentence. One SHORT sentence."

"JJ, you are treating me like Henry again"

"What?" she laughed.

"You told me to let you know when you began to infantilize me again. I wouldn't be shocked if you broke out a bib and tried to burp me."

"Okay fine'" she threw her hands up in surrender, "how about you sleep on it and we can talk in the morning?"

"I don't think I can sleep and it's not the coffee. Reid picked at his fingernails a slight frown on his lean face, "He told me he loved me and I don't know what to do."

JJ dropped her cup the amber liquid spreading on the cherry pine before spilling to the floor unnoticed, "Morgan? Morgan said that?"

"Yes. Wait, how did you know that it was Morgan?"

"Don't make me profile you. I may not have 3 PHD's but I've gotten a lot of experience hanging around you guys." At the raise of his brow she added, " and you called him Derek when you were on the phone. Now please tell me everything before I explode."

"Spontaneous combustion has been disproved by many scientists..."

"Reid will you stop stalling and just tell me what happened."

After a long pause during which JJ didn't as much as breathe, worried as she was that one slight movement would send him scurrying back into his shell.

"I'm in love with him. You know I am. It's not even the gay thing it's him! He's beyond incredible those eyes, that smile. I even love that cocky alpha male thing that he does. But he can't possibly love me I'm nothing special compared to him."

"Don't give me that look, JJ." He got up and began to pace in tight circles, striding with purpose but not really going anywhere. "When I was a kid I used to wait for somebody to come and when they did it'd make everything better. My mom would be healed and we'd live happily ever after. But even then I knew it was just a dream nobody was coming and it was going to be just me trapped in that mad house paralyzed by pain and fear till the end of time. And so I adapted and adjusted, I made the hard decisions on my own. I put my mother away and shored up the hole she left behind. Finally when I'd crushed every hope, dream and expectation he came and said what he did and now I'm lost again."

He glanced away from her filling blue eyes, clearing his throat unhappily, " I know I love him I just don't know how to love him. So when he said he loved me I froze. I have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory and in that moment I would have given anything to just be normal. To just be able to say I love you too. So I said nothing and he left and I wondered around lost and confused and ended up here."

"Oh, honey! You don't need to say anything sometimes with relationships showing up is all you need. Go to him."

"That sounds too simplistic and doesn't take into account a lot of variables. I need to calculate every possible outcome so that I'm ready for whatever decision he makes."

JJ walked over to him taking his slightly trembling hands in hers. "Then sleep on it, it's too late to drive _or walk _so you can stay in the guest room. Do your calculations or whatever and tomorrow you can talk to him."

_A little while later_

"JJ?" she paused at the open door looking back at the barely recognizable lump under the fleur de lis duvet.

"What if I waited too long? What if he doesn't love me anymore?" he whispered in the dimly lit room.

"That's impossible. It's been about 5 hours, he will understand that you needed time to process everything."

"Actually it's been 6 hours, 47 minutes and about 10 seconds and nothing is impossible."

"Most people would take that in the spirit it was intended."

"But I'm not most people, I'm a genius."

"Ok, Genius just close your eyes"

"You are doing it again."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

JJ stood outside the FBI jet; cool breeze blowing as blond strands wrapped coolly across her worried face, "Reid where the hell are you?"

"Here! I'm here." he yelled coming round the corner, a massive bag of books slung across his shoulder battled for space with a brown messenger bag across his thin chest.

"Did you stop by another bookstore? Reid this has gotta stop." JJ picked up one of the books that had spilled out of the book bag and tumbled to the tarmac.

"Why Men love Bitches?" She read aloud. "Seriously?"

Reid snatched it back from her and tucked it back in. "Sherry Argov is a bestselling author. Millions have read her book and found it helpful."

"You do know you're not a woman right?" she hissed back.

"I already read all the LGBT literature they had from 'Keeping Mr. Right' to 'The Gay Karma Sutra'." he flushed deeply. "I just want to be prepared and women are better at expressing themselves emotionally than men, which is a deficiency I need to fix. Besides Morgan was with Amber for 4 months and her hair and nails weren't the only fake thing about her"

"Ouch, Catty Reid, I like! " she grinned at him blue eyes sparkling "But Sweetie listen to me, I am a woman and I'm telling you to just talk to him. And while we are on the subject, I don't think 'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man' is going to do you any good either. You should watch the movie"

"There's no moratorium on learning. Heterosexual literature can also apply to people with homosexual leanings. There's a movie. I don't think all the information can be boiled down for…""

"JJ, Reid can we go already?" Prentiss called from the exit door. " I need to get home so I can wash Joseph McCrery off of me. Hey, is that a Cosmopolitan? Reid?"

"Its nothing." he called out, shoving the bright pink magazine deeper into his bag as he rushed up the stairs and passed by her.

Hours later JJ had had it. After an interesting hour of making him blush repeatedly by quoting from the 'Guide to Getting it On' she'd not managed to drive him from his seat through bargaining or embarrassment. It was time for drastic measures.

"Ow. Damn it, JJ did you pinch me?"

"Yes now go before I do it again."

Reid stumbled down the aisle towards the front of the jet where Morgan sat earphones blaring, eyes closed. A quick look around at the rest of his team showed Rossi and Prentiss sound asleep and Hotch studying some files under the overhead light.

Just sit," he muttered to himself, "Sit and say - what do I say? Oh God?"

Rushing past Morgan he squeezed into the tiny bathroom, leaned against the tiny door and took a deep breath. "Don't be such a coward. Go back out there. Confidence is perception." A quick look in the mirror showed messy brown curls, too pale skin and too bright eyes. "Breathe – just breathe." He lectured himself. "Its Morgan, he's your best friend. He won't laugh or be mean and point. Just sit with him."

He opened the door before he could reconsider and strode back into what would have been Morgan's line of sight if he'd had his eyes open. Reid turned to face the gorgeous but obviously tired man. _Sit_, _tap him on the shoulder and tell him everything. _He repeated the mantra to himself about six times but before he could follow through someone passed by him and a well-placed shove to the middle of his back sent him flying face first into Morgan's lap.

Morgan jumped, lap full of genius, long limbs everywhere, a stubborn chin rubbing a too sensitive area. "Reid move" he commanded non too gently as he struggled to move his friend off his lap and into a less compromising position. After a disturbing number of minutes he managed to shove Reid into the seat next to him.

Reid was so humiliated he couldn't look Morgan in the eye. Attempting to head to the back of the jet h esaid. "I'm going to go sit some place else."

"Reid SIT!" Morgan ordered.

Chastised Spencer planted his ass on the seat really really relieved to not have to make any more decisions and really mostly relieved to sit next to Derek; the love of his life. No word was spoken over the next for 45 or so minutes. The final call from the pilot sent renewed panic within each of them but they managed, lost and broken clinging to each other if only mentally. After gathering their bags, Reid taking up too much time searching for a stray book beneath the seats they headed out to the waiting SUVs.

"Morgan, a minute please. " Hotch called.

Reid turned to him panicked, "Baby, go on, wait for me. I'll be right there" Morgan reassured his love.

"What the hell was that? I had it under control" Morgan whispered glancing back to make sure Reid was out of the plane.

"Why is it so hard for you to just say thank you?" Hotch said his trademark frown in place.

"You pushed him"

"He was wearing a path in the aisle and you weren't saying anything"

"I wanted him to decide that he wants to be with me. I don't want him to say yes because he feels backed into it. _Or pushed_"

"You are both distracted and its messing with the teams dynamic. I need you to get your head back in the game. Both of you. Stop over thinking this and take him home before he bolts. Seriously do it now, I can see his mind working from here."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you again everyone that has alerted and reviewed. Jennycrum, srienia, sue1313, nanny, DebiGee and AppleInMyEye I appreciate all your comments. Hope you like this chapter. I have changed the rating to M though Im not yet sure how the ratings system works. So if i screwed it up please let me know. Thanks again.**

**Chapter 4**

A black SUV sped along silently on the rain slick streets, the muffled sound of thunder pulling a distant second to the soft blues that filled the warm cab. Outside the city bustled with life as the 9 to 5 crowd scurried for cover to avoid the cold drizzle. The occasional strikes of lightning flashed through the night sky making the whole city seem otherworldly, drenched as it was by Mother Nature's indifference. The couple maintained a longing silence and safe distance each too afraid to say the wrong thing and break the tentative hold they had on a future together.

Morgan glanced over at Reid as they slowed to a stop, the red light a reminder to find out where his genius's big brain was at before they got home.

"Your place or mine?"

"What?" Reid started out of his thoughts trying to suppress his far too obvious panic at the thought of getting too close, too fast. He shifted nervously in his seat, "I want to come home with you but I'm not very experienced in relating sexually with other people –" blushing a bright pink. " I am technically a virgin. I have engaged in some acts but penetrative sex always seemed awkward, uncomfortable and messy. Its not that I don't want to do it, the guys in those videos seemed to enjoy it and you have a lot of sex so you must be good at it which should make up for my inexperience."

"Reid, relax. I just want to talk."

"Talk?" He took a deep breath, "Yes I can talk, I like to talk. I am talking now...without an apparent end in sight." He glanced back out the window for a second before meeting Morgan's eyes again. "God, dynasties have risen and fallen since I started this conversation.." he trailed off, "I mean uh - yes we can go to your place to talk."

"So?" Morgan smirked at him the same way he always did before he pulled a prank that Reid could never quite match. "Those videos you studied? Take any notes?"

"Shut up."

Morgan's grin was big, beautiful and it instantly eased the tension in the car. A slow swerve took them left and up the hill that led to his home.

Pulling into the driveway of the double storied town house Morgan handed Reid his house keys. "Can you let yourself in while I get Clooney from Mrs. O'Neal? Its just two doors down I'll be right back. You know the code." He yelled over the pitter-patter of the raindrops as he took off.

Reid looked up at the darkened house, which seemed to have taken on a menacing air in the space it took Morgan to disappear down the road. _I'll just wait for him to get back _he told himself _and when he does I can say I'm standing out here in the rain cos I'm too scared to go inside. Great._

Something brushed up against him and he jumped shrieking like a little girl, "Morgan, do not do that. You scared the shit out of me."

"You're jumpy."

Wrapping his skinny arms across his chest he replied defensively, "You got back sooner than I thought. Where's that behemoth you call a pet?"

"I didn't get him yet. I forgot that the door kinda sticks so I doubled back, its better if I get it." Taking the key he smoothly opened the door went inside and turned on the downstairs lights. "Be nice to Clooney he took care of me while we both waited for you to get here and I'll sleep better if next time your first instinct is to reach for your gun." He remarked heading for the open door and out into the night.

_He - they were waiting for me!_

"Morgan wait," Reid called out rushing out after him into the heavy drizzle. He came to an abrupt halt in front of his friend as ignored raindrops slid through his hair and under his scarf. "Iloveyoutoo" He took a deep breath and said it again slowly "I love you too. I wanted to say it back after you did – and I did, just not out loud. You just caught me off guard. The last thing I expected was for you to say you love me and I still don't quite believe it. This is probably a fever-induced dream and I'm lying in a hospital somewhere but I don't care. I need you to know that I do, so much. I have for a long time – and I always will – love you."

Morgan stepped to him and gently brushed his thick brown hair out of his face and behind his ears. " God, the way you are looking at me.."

Damp strands clung to his dark fingers as if everything in Reid was reaching out welcoming, tangling, possessive. Reid's eyes flicked like a reflex to Morgan's mouth, a peek at even white teeth starting a low hum in his abdomen.

Still Morgan hesitated, "I'm sure." Reid whispered into his mouth. Desperate with lust, he tugged Morgan's t-shirt out and run his cold lean fingers against hot wet skin. Walls came down as lips crashed together in a furious explosion of need. Morgan licked his bottom lip, tugging it into his mouth nipping and sucking hard. Reid whimpered leaning heavily against his lover's perfect body as kisses were scattered across mouth then trailed down to his long neck. His scarf was yanked away and dropped impatiently to the ground as a hot mouth sucked the hollow at the bottom of his throat.

A loud bang startled them both as they yanked apart, suddenly aware that they were standing outside in full view of the entire neighborhood. Reid giggled hysterically only stopping when Morgan cupped his face between his powerful hands once again kissing him in the low sensual, oh so perfect way.

"I am going to go get Clooney." He brushed their lips together, " and when I get back we can finish our 'discussion'. Don't go anywhere."

"Okay." Reid whispered touching their foreheads, "and thank you for the turning on the lights."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Reid stood there watching him walk away, grinning like a loon. _There goes my uh - lover, boyfriend, significant other, life partner?_ The future had never looked so uncertain but he couldn't stop smiling. For the first time in a long time he wasn't alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**SMUT WARNING: Don't read if you are under age.**

**Thank you LorienJY, AppleInMyEye, Sue1313, jenny crum, yugiyamisex4eva, nannily and Srienia as always for your reviews. Hope this lives up to expectation, let me know.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 5**

"Don't think - you think too much. Just react." Spencer lectured, the damp clothes sticking to his back making him rethink sitting on the burgundy couch. "Be an adult. Confident. Take your clothes off and strike a sexy pose – whatever that is."

Reid wandered up the stairs and down the hallway flicking on the lights until he found Derek's bedroom. It was darkly masculine with light grey walls, solid black furniture and a bed large enough to fit a small army. "Don't think about everyone that has been in that bed before you."

Reid stripped quickly shrugging off his shirt before tugging off his khaki pants. He was pulling off the last sock when the sound of barking echoed through the house. "Oh God what I'm I doing?" The battle to put his clothes back on took forever as if they too were reluctant to cover him up.

"Spencer?"

"Coming." He cracked his head against the doorjamb as he run out pulling on his shoes.

Running smack into Morgan at the bottom at the stairs, he croaked "I wasn't do-ing anything."

"Hey my house is yours, you can peek in as many drawers as you want."

"Ah," Reid shrieked when a large hairy monster came at him sticking its head into his crotch.

"Clooney down." Morgan pulled him back by his leash. "He just wants to get to know you."

"Why cant you just have a cat? They are self-sufficient and unlikely to pounce on your guests with no provocation."

"Because **WE **have a dog and you need to get to know each other. This house is big but it's not _**that**_ big."

Reid looked at him stubbornly, eventually relenting, "Fine. How do I do this?"

"Show him your palm." Reid held still while Clooney sniffed at him preparing to jerk it away just in case. "He's wagging his tail, that means he like you."

"For dinner?"

Morgan gave him a stern look. "Spencer Reid, genius profiler, meet Clooney Morgan, chaser of birds – and the postman that one time that we never talk about - now take his paw."

"What? Oh!" Clooney's paw was rough under his with soft leathery pads; he shook it once and let go. "Now what?" The yellow lab sniffed him once more then wandered off towards the kitchen.

"Oh poor baby. Did the big dog scare you?" Morgan backed him up against the wall pressing his body flush against his. "I'll protect you." A hard thigh pushed between Reid's legs and he hardened painfully when Morgan began to suck at his neck. His hands fluttered from hip to shoulder unsure where they should land as his heart hammered heavily in his chest. He shuddered and cried out when Morgan palmed his hard cock through his pants his senses on overload.

"I'm sorry I got carried away. I want you but you are wet and cold so come on let me take care of you." Reid blindly stumbled along behind him; hand in hand they went up the stairs through the bedroom and into the marble bathroom.

He watched in a daze while Morgan got the water temperature right, plugged in the tub, added some kind of sweet smelling liquid and dimmed the lights.

"Is this your usual – um seduction routine? I bet a lot of women – people - women have fallen for it?" he stammered out. "Would you say they've been A LOT of peo- women?"

Morgan unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it off his shoulder and knelt before him. "Do you want to get into this now?"

Reid shook his head quickly when his belt snapped open, stepping out of his Converse when Morgan tugged at them. He blushed when he realized he was only wearing one sock, happy when Morgan didn't ask about it. Boxer briefs followed, his hardness slapping his belly dripping pre cum it was so embarrassing and unbearably exciting.

"Derek." he whispered attempting to push his lover away, crying out when a hot tongue licked a stripe up his length and suckled at the dripping head. "Oh god oh god. Stop, I'm going to ejaculate."

Morgan chuckled wickedly at the scientific wording. "Get in in the tub." Reid climbed in awkwardly eyes darting to and from Morgan. When he began to strip he was unable to look away eyes hungrily devouring the dark body whose muscles rippled with every movement.

"Scoot." Reid made room for him, the water shifting as Morgan sank behind him and pulled him onto his lap. "So talk to me?"

The skinny man held himself stiffly, back as ramrod straight as was possible. He could feel Morgan long and hard beneath him. "You want to talk now?"

"Yeah, how's your mum doing?"

"I'm not talking about my mother while naked with that _**thing**_ sticking – _**there**_! This is amazingly rude so you can tell me to shut up but your house is really nice. How can you afford it? I'm not implying that you are taking kickbacks. Did you know that Transparency International classified 72 out of 158 countries as corrupt in 2011? Even though their Corruptions Perceptions Index has been heavily criticized by various specialists…"

"Morgan? I'm sorry are you bored? Why did you let me ramble on?" _**God I can't do anything right!**_

"I'm good – I have you right where I want you."

Reid was stunned to realize that he was lying down on Derek's body. Every dip and curve locked together. "That was underhanded and sneaky."

"I know" Morgan replied starting to nibble on the back of his neck.

"Ah!" he moaned loudly when dark hands stroked up his belly and tugged and flicked at his pink nipples. "Derek?" his hands scrambled for purchase on the slippery tub.

His hair was tugged leaving the other side of his long neck exposed for attack. A large dark hand wrapped around his red cock and pulled from root to tip making him moan incoherently.

"Look at you all hot for me." Morgan whispered hotly in his ear. "My pretty – pretty boy."

Pleasure coiled tighter in his belly. The pumping on the flushed cock hid and revealed the purple head that gleamed wetly through the white suds. _It was too much._ The hard sucking and slow pumping between his plump cheeks that occasionally brushed against his hole promised darker pleasures to come.

He humped back obscenely oblivious to the water that sloshed over the side of the tub drenching the blue tile. Hard nails dug into his reddened sore nipples and teeth sunk into his collarbone. The pain shook him to his core he cried out exploding into a violent orgasm. His mind flashed white as every part of him buzzed and tingled, unbelievable pleasure infusing his very soul.

He came to with Morgan's hand lazily rubbing circles on his belly. "Oh god that was – god."

"A speechless Spencer Reid guess I did something right."

"But you didn't…"

Morgan dragged his head back hungrily taking his mouth. "We have all night. Come on the waters getting cold."

"I don't think I can move."

xxxxx

Reid woke slowly pale wintry light streaking across his face. A strong arm wrapped around his waist and rested limply on his ribcage. Warmth danced through him as he turned carefully to look at his sleeping lover. Morgan snored lightly dead to the world. Long fingers brushed across his brow and traces down his aquiline nose.

Chiming bells rang through the house. Reid scrambled out of bed wincing when a sharp pain streaked through his backside. He rifled through Morgan's chest putting on the first thing he could find. Clooney streaked through the now open door jumping on the bed and taking his spot.

"We should get a cat." He muttered shuffling downstairs and yanking open the door.

"Doctor Reid!" JJ laughed, taking in the large black muscle tee and designer boxers that swam around his thin body. "You slut! You are supposed to put out after the date not before."

"I-I didn't. What are you doing here?"

"We have a case." Morgan spoke up behind him coming into view, tight jeans riding low on his powerful hips. "Hotch just called."

Reid hungrily followed the roll of those hips the memory of them powerfully driving into him opening him up making him scream flashed through him.

"Spencer?"

"Huh!"

"Let her in."

"Oh of course." he flushed, "Would you like some coffee? I'll show you to the kitchen"

Morgan snagged his wrist, "Take a left down the hall. We'll be right there."

Derek brushed his lips against him. "How do you feel? Are you sore?"

"A little." Reid was sure he could feel JJ's eyes burning into his back.

"I didn't mean to push you so hard last night. I'll be more careful next time."

"Don't it was perfect." Reid thrilled at the thought of next time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thank you to MarineLvr84, Sue1313, jenny crum, and nannily for your reviews. You guys made my day.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 6**

Reid leaned against the counter stirring his cup of sugar. "You don't want to spend time with me. How can I not find that offensive?"

His lover stood in front of him hands lightly resting on his hips. They both kept an eye on the door ready to pull apart incase someone came in. "I don't mean it like that."

"Then explain it to me because I don't understand."

"You and I are different. _**Good different."**_ Morgan added when his genius frowned. "But we like different things and that's okay. We don't have to spend every second together."

Reid looked up at him trying to still the tremors that run through him. "Are you breaking up with me at work cos you're afraid I'll make a scene?"

"WHAT? NO?"

"Maybe it's for the best before my central nervous system starts to release oxytocin and vasopressin and I get too attached to you. Use definitive words cos I will need it spelled out for me to accept it."

A dark hand dragged his chin up. "What the hell are you talking about? First of all we are already attached so we are _**never**_ breaking up. You can get that out of your head right now. Secondly you have that lecture on Superstring theory tonight, I know that cos you've been talking about it in your sleep."

"I don't have Somniloquy and you can come with me to listen to Dr. Christos Kefalis he's considered a bit of a radical in his field however his Marxist theories should prove enlightening." Hope brightened his brown eyes, a cute pout meant to entice Morgan into tugging along.

"Babe, I mean this in the nicest possible way but I'd rather cover my balls in honey and let soldier ants have at them."

"_Neivamyrmex Leonardi_"

"What?"

"That's their real name."

"Spencer, I am exhausted. We had a clusterfuck of a week. I need to get a large drink and dance till I can forget Catherine Myers, Rita Green and Sloan Parker. Forget enough that I won't see their battered faces when I put my hands on you later. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I will be at Gatto Noir with the girls. You can come join us after your lecture."

xxxxx

The brightly lit parking lot wasn't the ideal spot for the full on grope fest but Morgan couldn't stop himself. He needed to relieve some stress; hours listening to some old guy go on and on about physics wasn't going to hack it even with his pretty boy besides him.

"Was that our first fight?"

Morgan remembered the long drag-out fights he'd had with some of his ex girlfriends. A trip to the Emergency Room to remove a stiletto heel embedded in his shoulder was a fight. This was nothing. _God, I love him._ "No, that was simply a rational discussion."

"Can it still be called a rational discussion when only one of us is rational?"

"Do you want to start that fight now?"

"Get in hot stuff," Emily yelled from the car. "Gotta go get some strange!"

Morgan kissed him deeply despite the hooting and cheering from the girls "Have fun at your thing. I love you."

"I love you too." Reid waved sadly as the car sped off. He'd been plastered to Derek's side since the first night they made love. It felt weird being alone, cast aside, abandoned. Even the thought of the next four hours immersed in Theoretical Physics did nothing to ease his spirits.

XXXXX

The genius sat at the back of the lecture hall unable to concentrate on the intricate equations on the board. He should have been fascinated, excited even but though he was here his heart was with his _**boyfriend?**_ at that too loud too crowded club.

He leaned over and whispered to the blond man besides him. "What does 'strange' mean? As in 'get some strange'?"

Smile flashed bright at him in the dim lighting. "Its colloquial for sex with a stranger."

"Oh –" he sat up abruptly stuffing books into his messenger bag. "I need to go."

"What? Where?"

"My, um best – boyfr- best friend is at a club with my workmates. They were talking about getting strange. Now that I know what it is I'd rather be there than here pretending to concentrate."

"Don't you trust him? Your "best friend"?"

"I do but he's handsome and perfectly proportioned. Women tend to take their clothes off around him. Did you know that drinking alcohol with the opposite sex is one of the quickest ways to infidelity because it lowers your inhibitions? It blurs the moral line in most people."

"I'll come with you. I don't think I'll be able to sleep till I solve this mystery of the best – boyfr- best friend"

"What? No! It's ok. I don't mean to ruin your evening as well. You should stay he's about to get to the best part."

"I actually didn't come for the lecture." Blond giant stood up as well ignoring the shushing from the front rows. "I kinda followed you in here."

"Why? Oh! Its – I have a uh – Derek." He finished helplessly.

"Yeah I got that. I won't deny that I'm a little disappointed. But I'm new in town I could use some friends. If that's okay with you of course." He smiled again when Reid gave his consent. "Sooo, lead the way I want to see this god in mans clothing!"

The ride to Gatto Noir set Reid on edge, the closer they got both worsened and lessened his nerves. He had no idea how he'd react if Morgan was with someone else. Should he yell or would that make things worse? _He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. _The chant soothed him a little.

The half naked women gyrating at the entrance to the club shot that to bits. It was loud and dark, writhing couples of all orientation populated every corner. He stumbled around wishing he'd worn contacts instead of his thick lenses that got smudged as he made his way through the crowd. He was uncomfortable and now sticky when a drunken lout spilled beer on him; he only avoided getting completely drenched when his new friend dragged him out of the way.

When the crowd parted revealing Morgan dancing on the floor with three floozies his heart broke a little. "Is that him?" was yelled in his ear.

"I shouldn't have come." He stammered out heading back for the exit. When a firm grip grabbed onto his upper arm stopping his forward momentum he schooled his face shielding the hurt and betrayal. He'd know those hands anywhere.

Surprisingly irate, Derek stood there glaring at him. "Who's this?"

Reid realized he'd been so preoccupied with his own musings he hadn't asked the blond's name.

"James. James Sinclair." The hand thrust out for a shake was completely ignored.

"Can I talk to you?" Morgan snapped at him before manhandling him into the alley out back. "Who the fuck was that?"

_What right does he have to be mad at me?_ "James Sinclair. I met him at the… "

"You made a friend? That's great, " Derek hissed. "Now explain to me why the fuck he keeps touching you?"

"What? He isn't!"

"His hands are all over you."

"You don't get to point fingers when the woman with the massive breasts," he pantomimed. "Was rubbing against you like she was trying to start a fire."

"Answer the question."

"This is ridiculous. You are deflecting by projecting your adulterous thoughts onto me. You might as well be pounding your chest or peeing on me and I have done nothing wrong. But your overreaction to my innocent interaction tells me you want to."

Morgan strode off into the distance attempting to calm down before he said something he'd regret. "My boyfriend just showed up with a polo playing, loafer wearing, manicured asshole and you think I'm projecting? Do you even see how he's looking at you?" He huffed. "And in case you were wondering this is us, having a fight. I'd hate for you to miss it."

"Boyfriend?" Reid squeaked. "I'm your boyfriend?"

"Did you tell him we were just friends cos I swear to God Reid…"

"I'm not sure what to tell people. You and I haven't talked about that yet we've been doing other - um – things."

"So this is about the sex? I break you in and you want to go sniffing around at every cock in town. Gotta get that itch scratched every second." Reid just stared back at him, huge brown eyes reflecting hurt and disappointment. _Okay that was too far._ "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Morgan leaned in close, careful not to touch him. _It will kill you if he flinches away._ "I am sorry. I just love you so much and I trust you completely you know that. I'm just terrified that something – someone will take that away."

Reid buried his head in Morgan's shoulder inhaling deeply. "Can we go home now?"

"Whatever you want baby, whatever you want."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**SMUT WARNING!**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**Fairytopia – **Thanks for being honest. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.

**Sue1313, Babyybre, yugiyamisex4eva & maryhell – **Thanks for loving it. You keep me going.

**Nannily & jenny crum – **Yes, I think Derek's hot as well and would be even more so when jealous!

**Marinelvr84 – **Hope your mum doesn't think you're nuts. Loved your comment.

**Srienia - **I decided to give little glimpses of what Morgan is thinking so that he doesn't come across as a complete bastard based entirely on his actions.

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 7**

Morgan reentered the club, Reid following in his wake annoyed by how easily the crowd parted for the larger agent. He wasn't entirely sure what had just happened but if that was a fight he didn't want another one. His tummy still turned at the thought of all the ugly things that had been said, so he focused on the positive; boyfriend. He had a boyfriend. He wanted to gloat at all those women who turned to stare as Morgan walked past but his hand was held tight as he was dragged towards the front exit. They breezed past Garcia and Emily who were both on the dance floor, JJ nowhere to be seen. Reluctant to rock the boat by going over Reid, only gave James a tiny wave.

They walked in silence to the curb easily getting a cab, Reid's fear quickly dispersed when Morgan gave the driver only one address. He struggled to think of what to say but all that came to mind were statistics slightly relevant to the current situation. He was sure Derek didn't want to hear about how an adulterous Greek male was sometimes punished by the removal of his pubic hair and the insertion of a large radish into his rectum. When the cab driver made a chocking sound he realized he'd said it out loud. _Shit!_ _Just be quiet._

The entrance they made into Morgan's home was decidedly awkward considering how easy they had been in each other's company when they'd left less than 12 hours ago. Derek went to let Clooney in and Reid headed to the bedroom standing at the foot of the bed unsure how to proceed.

"Can I kiss you?"

"You never - You never have to ask." The glint in Morgan's eyes made him a little nervous and he let out a squawk as he was pushed landing gently on the king-size bed.

Morgan dragged his genius to the bottom of the bed and wrapped those long lithe legs around his waist. White shirt slipped down exposing a taut belly and the curly brown hair that peppered the treasure trail made his mouth water. He dipped his tongue into the belly button licking and sucking wetly up the thin chest before drawing a hard pink nipple between his teeth, the long moan Reid let out tugged at his groin. A slow roll of those bony hips setting him aflame as he twisted and ground their hard erections together.

"Say you're mine." A soft lobe was tugged into hot mouth, "Say it!" whispered into the ear.

"I- Oh! I -I can't think when you do that."

Rough hands stripped him down to flushed skin, big hands rubbing and squeezing his soft butt cheeks. Reid tightened his legs around the hard waist, lifting up to give those hands more access to his wrinkled hole. "Yes! Yes!" he cried when a finger brushed against him and backed away.

His mewl of disappointment was rewarded when a slippery digit pushed against the tight entrance. The cold lube helped to ease the resultant burn as the thick finger forced its way into his body. A wet mouth covered his swallowing his cries as another finger pushed into his tight pucker. Mindless pleasure slammed into him as he sucked desperately on Derek's tongue yanking at the clothes that kept the hard body from his own. "Want you."

"You're mine?"

"Yesyesyes! Yours!" Reid panted mindlessly. "More, gimme more."

Derek leaned back on his heels stripping slowly as he watched his lover squirm. He loved seeing him like this: pupils blown, inhibitions gone, incapable of speech, the long hard cock spitting precum.

Reid watched him hungrily as he applied slick to his painfully engorged member. The squelching sounds obscene as he took his time coating from base to head and back again. "Spread 'em" He slapped hard at a slim thigh groaning out loud when Reid spread wide exposing himself to Derek's hungry gaze. "Wider."

Reid couldn't hear much above the racing of his heart. He pulled his knees up resting them on his chest opening his butt cheeks for his lover's eager gaze. The hole shiny with lube clenched and unclenched appearing to wink in anticipation.

Unable to take anymore Morgan started to push his mammoth log into the tiny hole and soon his head popped through the tight ring, dual groans echoing out as the hot ass eagerly swallowed his cock to the hilt. The large man pulled his hips back and slammed back impossibly deep, heavy balls smacking the small pale ass.

"Ah! Ahhh! Yes!" Reid howled. "Don't – don't stop!" He held on through the savage butt fuck, sweat trickled off his body soaking the covers.

"That's it!" Morgan said, gritting his teeth, drilling him open. " You're my baby boy!" The heavy ridges of his shaft brushed against a walnut sized lump that made Reid gasp and moan. For a half hour or so Morgan held him down and pounded relentlessly at his clutching hole pulling out when he got too close, making him whimper and beg. "Tell me again."

"I'm yours. Ple – please! Ahhh!" He lost it; spasming and clenching uncontrollably on the pistoning cock as it forced him to violent orgasm. His body thrashed and jerked, spewing cum painting their bellies.

Reid's tight muscles clamped down on his hard cock, squeezing and pulsing around his length. Sensation spread from his balls up the shaft, cum rising relentlessly. A couple more deep strokes and he bellowed hosing the insides of his love, squirting full then spilling out the sides. He collapsed to the side, panting and gasping for breath.

"Spencer? Baby?" He turned to find his genius had blacked out still looking thoroughly debauched, covered in their mingled come. "I love you." A gentle kiss brushed pale pink lips.

xxXxx

Reid woke to the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee as the bed dipped next to him lips brushing his forehead. "Rise and shine, pretty boy!"

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!" He sat up like a zombie, tufts of hair sticking out - a small fist rubbing at his eyes. Cradling the cup like he would a newborn he reverently brought it to his lips. "Hmmmm! The first sip is always the best."

Alarm streaked through him shattering his caffeine high at Morgan's somber, "Can we talk?" He simply nodded.

Morgan took a deep breath. " I am sorry. I behaved like an animal last night. Seeing you with that guy kind of threw me. I've never been the jealous type before but the second he put his hand on you I wanted to rip it off and beat him to death with it. But I trust you and if you want to be friends with him I will learn to handle it." Brown eyes locked on his. "So, forgive me?"

"I kind of have to. You bring me coffee, I'd give you my first born if you asked."

"That's the very same answer you give every barista between here and Quantico." Hard kiss. "Now come down for breakfast and stop promising our children to complete strangers."

Reid froze. _Children? We are having children? As in more than one? I don't know anything about kids. I just became a boyfriend and almost screwed that up. How can I be someone's dad when I don't have good role model…I could still develop Schizoph…Ok stop thinking! Just take baby – no small, I mean small steps. Right now I just need breakfast – coffee, there's coffee downstairs!_

xxXxx

They strolled cheerful into the bullpen Monday morning with the glow of a good weekend still clinging to them. The bouquet of pink roses gracing Reid's desk stirred two separate but extreme reactions in each of them. Morgan only needed to see the scrawled 'James' at the bottom before he fake smiled at Reid and fled to Garcia's lair.

"So, Gorgeous let me get this straight. You told him you are fine with him being friends with this guy and now you are using me to spy on him?"

"I am not spying. Don't make it sound ugly." He defended. "I'm just checking out his reaction to getting the flowers from this dickhead. What kind of guy sends flowers to somebody else's boyfriend?"

"Sweetie, that note was an apology. You need to chill. It could be worse."

"How could it possibly be worse?" Morgan's eyes were glued to the screen as he swore to himself.

"They could be red roses with an attached photo of him, naked muscles rippling, a single red rose between his teeth."

"I see your 'Playgirl' came in early this month."

"That's it. Get out." She shooed him with her fluffy pink pen. "If you're going to be mean you can deal with your boy genius drama on your own. Besides there's bossman and he has his serious face on."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**MarineLvr84 – **I feel exactly the same way about M/M sex. It must be better than what the rest of us get up to.

**Heki564 – **Thank you it's hard to keep them in character especially since my voice keeps interfering. I'm so happy you think that I pull it off.

**Nannily – **It's awesome how much you love a jealous Derek!

**Su1313 – **Yes, it's nice to see a little payback for the mean things Derek said especially since James is so nice.

**Elephantluva – **I love your review.Thank you and welcome,

**Maryhell - **Thank you and welcome as well. But it begs the question: how much of an ego boost is too much?

_**For everybody who expected me to zig, I zagged!**_

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 8**

A chill whipped through the late September afternoon, wind stirring the leaves on the nearly bare trees. Reid arranged the chess pieces on the board, playing himself from time to time occasionally waving at fellow players, all of whom were setting up at various tables. He refused to dwell on the fact that he hadn't seen Morgan since they'd come from Tennessee two days ago. The phone call from James had cheered him up given him a reason to get out of an apartment that no longer felt like home.

The sight of the large blond coming down the hill lifted his spirits like nothing had in awhile. James sat in front of him rubbing his hands together with great exaggeration. "I know I agreed to let you teach me chess but couldn't we do it indoors."

"No this is part of the whole experience. You're surrounded by fellow chess lovers Charlie over there," he nodded at the white haired man two tables down. "Was the all state champion three years in a row."

"Can you totally kick his ass?"

"I already did but it's impolite to brag."

Explaining all the rules of the game took longer than he expected especially since James was fooling around reluctant to actually learn anything.

"Why are you holding my hand?" Strong fingers cupped his hand.

"I'm trying to keep you from missing that tiny black spot. It'd be a shame if you dropped your horse like thingy."

"It's a 'knight' and my motor skills are not the ones in doubt."

"Let it never be said that I wasn't a gentleman." James grinned at him wickedly rubbing his hands together then placing them under the table. "How is Derek?"

"He's…" _distant_ "fine. He's training the new recruits so he's really busy. How is Marcus?"

"The midget you set me up with?"

"He's not a midget."

"He's like 4 feet tall. I was on edge the entire evening afraid I'd step on him."

"Don't be mean." Reid took his Queen for the fourth time. "I know other guys you can meet."

"Are they all from the comic book store?" The eyebrow James raised at him made him blush. "You can stop trying to set me up I'm not pining after you."

"Then move your hand."

The hand that had been drawing circles on the inside of his thigh was slowly withdrawn. "How'd that get there?"

It was Reid's turn to raise an eyebrow at him. "You keep this up and I'll have to stop spending time with you."

"Admit it. You kind of like it."

"I'm never going to like it enough so stop it."

"I'll behave from now on I swear." He picked up a white rook. "Where does this go again?"

"The game ended five minutes ago." Reid began to arrange the board once again. "What happened with your last boyfriend? You never talk about him."

"It ended badly."

Undeterred by the short clipped answer he pressed on. "How badly?"

"Why do you want to hear about this?"

"I'm in a relationship for the first time ever. I find myself morbidly interested in how they end. "

"Trouble in paradise?" His green eyes sparkled with hope.

"We are fine. Tell me about um – Greg?"

"Oh yeah! The Bastard Greg. Long story short; I never believed in love until him. We met in the ER he'd come in off a hiking accident, broke his arm in two places. I'm a big hiker so we had this instant connection. We talked, laughed and the sex was out of this world then his 'Douchey Rockstar' ex boyfriend came home from tour. I blinked and he was gone. The End."

"So you moved from Seattle to get away from him?"

"Ha! Nothing even remotely that dignified." James shook his head, deep in thought. "After he dumped me I cried and begged him to stay, when that didn't work I parked my car in front of his home and blasted Creed's 'Six feet from the Edge' till his neighbors called the cops. The purple Mohawk and leather pants I got after that almost got me fired, apparently that isn't a look that inspires trust in one's doctors. So I traded shifts and stalked him for an embarrassing number of weeks. When I found myself outside his loft at 4am in the morning armed with a can of gasoline and lighter _**then**_ it was time to leave town."

"Oh!" Reid looked up in alarm. "He's not dead is he?"

"I wish he was but him and Douchey Rockstar just adopted a Peruvian baby. How do I know this you ask? Fucking Facebook that's how." The fist that slammed into the table toppled over some pawns. "Have I freaked you out?"

"A little bit."

"Shall I continue to pretend to play chess?"

"I think we should."

xxXxx

Reid waved when he spotted Emily at the back of the Japanese restaurant. James had just dropped him off and much as he liked him he wanted Derek. Maneuvering past the chattering diners to get to them he stood a little disappointed to realize Morgan wasn't with them.

"Where's Derek?"

" Hey genius how was your date?" Garcia piped up. "Are you cheating on my Hot Choco God already? Tsk! Tsk! Kids today!"

"It was not a date and I'm not cheating!" Maybe he was enjoying flirting with James but it didn't mean anything.

"Calm down marshmallow. We know you're not the type."

JJ ever the voice of reason spoke up. "He stayed behind to clear his backlog of files. Now that you're here we can order I'm starving."

"I wouldn't say no to more Sake." Emily pushed a tiny cup towards him. "Drink up and spill your guts."

"Spill about what?"

One after the other they chimed. "Length? Girth? Stamina?"

Reid chocked. "JJ? I - You're somebody's mom!"

"Doesn't mean I'm numb from the waist down."

"I don't to hear about yo – your woman parts."

"Woman parts? He's definitely gay." Emily cackled.

"You should know that Sake has a higher alcoholic content than most wines."

"Do you sprout off facts about copulation when the two of you are…" She glanced around and lowered her voice. "..fucking?"

Reid sprang up off his seat. "I am going to the bathroom." He slipped into the tiny room and sat on the toilet lid dialing frantically. "Derek, where are you?"

"Hi baby. What's going on? Your voice is really high right now."

"You were supposed to meet me for dinner instead I'm stuck here with the Moirai."

"The what?"

"Moirai. The Fates from Greek mythology they had the power to decide a man's destiny…"

"Reid?"

Even over the phone he recognized that familiar exasperated tone. "JJ, Garcia and Prentiss. They are tossing back Sake and asking me really embarrassing questions."

"I'm sorry baby boy, but I'm swamped with reports I can't leave right now."

"I could come over and help you."

"No, I'm good. I'll see you later." The dial tone bleeped in his ear.

"I love you too!" he whispered sadly to his phone and then headed back out to face his drunk friends.

"Reid we're sorry we didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. There was no need to sic your boyfriend on us."

"I didn't."

Garcia read aloud off her phone. "Baby girl quit it or our Cinco de Mayo deal is off."

"What happened on Cinco de Mayo?"

"If I tell you, I'd have to kill you." Garcia's deadpan delivery sent the other two into peals of laughter.

The rest of the dinner luckily for him passed with no more teasing. Garcia and Emily bundled into one cab leaving him and JJ to wait for the next one.

"Spence, you've been quiet all evening. What's going on?"

"I couldn't get a word in edgewise with all the estrogen flying around."

"Nice try. Are you and Derek okay?"

"I'm not sure. Something's off but I'm not sure what. Every time I ask he says we are fine."

"Hmmm, if only you were skilled in reading people based on purely on their body language." She looked pointedly at him.

"We are not supposed to profile each other."

"**No.** You're **not **supposed to profile SSA Derek Morgan; I think its okay to profile your boyfriend. What do you call him when you're alone? Snookums? Sexy McCutiePants? Big Daddy?" She riffled through her giant purse. "Where's my phone?"

"It's in your hand." He tapped the evasive item. "I don't think I've ever seen you this drunk."

"The last case got to me. All those kids. It's devastating when you realize they will never be ok. Just because we remove the source of their abuse doesn't end the effect, you know. Of course you know with Derek and everything. CAB!" She raced down the street and flagged it down.

_Oh my God!_ He waved numbly at JJ as she pulled away from the curb committing the license plate number to memory as he always did.

xxXxx

"Hey, what are you doing back here?" The glow from the computer illuminated Morgan's tired face.

"You're not sleeping! You don't sleep." Reid stood as close to him as the large desk would allow. "At first I thought it was because I've been spending all this time with James but that's not it."

"Spencer I'm fine" Morgan stood up coming round and taking Reid's hands in his.

"Sexual abuse victims…"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

Reid pulled away and paced the room. "Is that the reason you're not sleeping? Am I the reason?"

"Spence, I will admit that being with you has stirred up some stuff but it's nothing I can't handle."

"You shouldn't have to handle it."

"I'm not going to let the past hold me hostage so 'NO' to whatever you're thinking."

"If being with me is hurting you then…"

"I've never been this happy with anyone ever. A few side effects aren't going to kill me."

"But it could. Statistics show that drowsy driving results in over 100,000 automobile wrecks every single year. A lack of adequate sleep can affect judgment, mood, ability to learn and retain information, and may increase the risk of serious accidents and injury. In the long term, chronic sleep deprivation may lead to a host of health problems including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and even early mortality."

Morgan sat on the desk and grinned at him. "I'm already dead in this scenario?"

"Don't brush my fears aside like they don't matter. You spend everyday chasing down unsubs, kicking down doors and disarming bombs. A single moment of distraction could get you killed."

Derek grabbed him as he strode past positioning him between his widespread legs. "I am going to be ok. I have to be because I will never willingly leave you."

"All you do is take care of me. You're there every time I'm in trouble or get hurt. When is it my turn to take care of you?"

"I'm not keeping score."

"Its just - Sometimes the only way to keep disease from spreading is to remove the infected tissue."

"Ok just stop. You want to know how to take care of me? You stay and we deal with this." He brushed unruly bangs out of his face kissing him before tucking them behind his ear. "In the meantime I'm so glad you're here I could use some help with those." He pointed at an untidily stacked pile of documents.

"I thought you had it under control."

"Please. For every file you finish I will give you one kiss."

"Considering you kiss me with little provocation that's not much of an incentive."

Hot breath ghosted over his ear. "I will kiss you wherever you want."

"Should we still be doing that in light of..." Morgan's soft lips cut off his train of thought. "O - Okay!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**Nannily – **They will definitely sort out their problems; they are Morgan and Reid after all.

**Terni & elephantluva – **Thank you. The end was my favorite part to write as well, so sweet and gooey.

**Sue1313 & Marinelvr84 – **I like to think that the girls are all really close and they treat Reid like a little brother. I think they would tease him mercilessly but also be super fan girly at the same time.

**Irishgirl9 – **Welcome and thank you so much for your review I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**Srienia – **James definitely wants Reid He's so pretty I can't imagine any one not desiring him. Whether he'll get him is another thing entirely.

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 9**

Morgan came back from his morning run around Edmond, Oklahoma. The first sound to greet him as he stepped through the motel room door was the shower running. Reid was awake! It usually took a lot more coaxing to get the young genius out of bed but now that he was... Anticipation rippled through him as he yanked off his vest and tracks slipping soundlessly into the steamy bathroom. The sight of his lover, clear drops of water rolling down that beautiful skin sent his already perky member into full-blown hardness.

Reid jumped when a hard body draped across his wet back. "Morgan?"

"Were you expecting someone else?" A pink lobe was tugged between white teeth.

"Officer Peterson had some potential." He said referring to the cop that had picked them up from the plane. "Such thick lustrous hair." When Morgan yanked him around to glare at him, Reid glowed with mischief. He loved how possessive Morgan was of him, hard as he tried not to let it become an issue between them.

He wound his long arms around Derek kissing his scowl sweetly. He still marveled at his ability to do this whenever he wanted. He only pulled back when long dark soapy fingers caressed down his back and began to stroke between his cheeks, seeking, begging for permission.

"No. No. No." Morgan tried to hold onto him but he slipped away easily.

"We had a deal."

"You're withholding sex? Seriously?" He could literally feel Morgan's incredulous glare burn into the back of his head.

"Until you see the counselor I'm not doing any thing that will hurt you further."

"This is hurting me." Morgan pointed at to his throbbing erection. "I'm not sure how much longer I can go on without exploding."

"You are unbelievable. It's been three days! Three days!"

"Yes, _**three whole days!**_ I'm not used to…" He trailed off at the dark look Reid gave him. "You're acting like a chick."

At that comment Reid stopped in his tracks then doubled back and pulled the toilet's large ornate handle activating the flushing mechanism. The resultant roar that echoed loudly through the bathroom covered up Morgan's cursing as this action instantly turned the water in the shower ice cold. He escaped while he could Morgan's colorful language trailing him into the bedroom.

The shrill ring of his phone interrupted his mental high fiving and he hurried to answer it thinking it was one of the team. Seeing it was James again he rejected the call.

"That was cruel." Morgan growled behind him. "Just for that alone, I am also withholding sex." This was not a threat Morgan would ever follow through on. "Don't give me the look. I'm immune to the look." He added as Reid gave him his saddest puppy dog eyes. "Ok, I forgive you. Come here."

Emily's yell at the door interrupted their cuddle time. "Guys we've gotta go in 15 minutes." The ride to the station was tense all three of them reviewing the case in the car so they'd be ready to hit the ground running. They'd flown in late last night to deal with the fourth seemingly random murder suicide in as many weeks.

As always Reid got left at the station to work on the geographic profile while Morgan, Rossi, Hotch and Prentiss went out in the field to chase down a lead. He pulled the older agent to the side before they left. "I know." Derek preempted. "Be careful. Don't get hurt. You love me. I love you too!"

Reid looked up in relief when Morgan rejoined him a couple of hours later. His love looked weary, he wanted to hug him but they were smack dab in the middle of the bible belt who knew how these cops would react. "How'd it go? You look tired."

Derek dodged the question leering at him suggestively and snapping the shades shut instead. "I love the way you look bent over."

Reid turned his back on him choosing to recheck the last known coordinates of the last victims. "I will happily do so again as soon as you see Dr. Shelby."

"Come on." Morgan whined his big hand cupping one pert butt cheek then tracing the seam in Reid's khakis. "Orgasms are nature's sleeping pill."

"Dammit Morgan!" Reid shoved his hand off.

"Hey baby, are you really mad? I'm just messing around I'd never actually push you into anything you didn't wanna do."

Baring his soul had never come easy to him and Reid's gut knotted at the thought of having to do it but this was too important. Nothing else was working. "I'm happy with you. For the first time in my life I feel safe, like I belong somewhere, with someone and you will never know how much it means to me."

"Spencer.."

"You say we're partners but you don't act like we are." Reid swallowed thickly now was not the time for stuttering or hesitation. "I know you haven't out rightly promised me anything but you've said things. Things I never knew I wanted until you. I need you to take this seriously cos if you don't at some point it – 'we' will become too much for you and you'll leave. We need help. Please go see Dr. Shelby, she…" He turned brushing his tears discreetly aside when the door opened so grateful that Morgan made up an excuse to get Hotch back out of the room. His observant boss didn't need to witness his mini meltdown at work.

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Reid. The unsub was apprehended, the day saved, yay! He oscillated between guilt and shame, people had died and all he cared about was his love life.

xxXxx

"Hey Spence?" Morgan waited till Reid spat out the toothpaste and rinsed out his mouth. "What did you mean when you said I say things? Things that you now want?"

Reid shuffled reluctantly past him, picked up his go bag and handed him a book. **"Congratulations, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: What's Ahead from A to Z for First-Time Fathers" **Morgan looked at him with worry. "How many other books like this are in that bag?"

"Lets – just say a lot."

"Oh honey!"

"Don't 'oh honey' me. Books are a lot easier than that 'Daddy and Me' class I signed up for. "

"Daddy and Me? Reid, we don't have any kids?"

"I know that. I just want to be ready if - when – if we do. But when the guys at the Centre found out I didn't have a child they thought I was a pervert and kicked me out."

Morgan wanted to be supportive of his very stressed out boyfriend but the thought of anyone finding Reid threatening was hilarious.

Oblivious Reid continued ranting. "I didn't mean to break it. The diaper tabs were very sticky and they were everywhere, so when I yanked it up, her leg flew off and hit Sally Mae on the back of the head. Who gives a name to a doll masquerading as a baby? Bill Thompson that's who and they were looking at _**me**_ like I was an unsub."

Morgan's shout of laughter stopped his tirade. "I'm glad you think this is funny." He said pouting. "This is how I react when you say things. You mentioned having kids once in passing I don't think you even remember doing it. Now I see them everywhere taunting me. Did you know that infants have large eyes and tiny features so that it calls forth a feeling of protection within us?"

"Come on. They're cute."

"They're diabolical."

Morgan drew him into his arms squeezing gently, rubbing his back and stroking his hair until he calmed. "Yes I want kids, I always have but that's way down the road. After we've spent a lot more time together and definitely after we get married."

"Wait, I – I – Married? But I don't…?" The smile on Derek's face tipped him off. "Why are you messing with me?"

Morgan stole a kiss. "I think you're perfect."

Later in the dim room curled up in the queen-sized bed, Reid snuggled up even closer to the raging furnace that was his lover's body. "Do you really think I'll make a good dad? I know it is way down the road but I need to know."

"Baby, I know what's really got you worried is the thought of turning into your father but I'm here too so you won't be alone and besides you're amazing with Henry."

"I can't do magic forever, at some point children have to eat and sleep."

"Parenting is a skill like any other all you need is practice. "

"You want me to borrow a baby?"

"God no!" The horror in Morgan's voice was unmistakable. "You need to start out small."

"Like with a cactus?"

"Since you're so smart we are going to skip remedial class. You can take care of Clooney for a couple of days."

"WHAT? No. He hates me." He could feel Morgan's denial. "Yes he does. I suspect it's because he knows you love me more than him." Reid huffed. "What kind of dog doesn't eat table scraps?"

"Clooney's special."

"Yeah you've spoilt him now he thinks he's people. No wonder he's confused about who's in charge. Derek?" His lover was obviously on the verge of sleep if his replied "Hmmm" was any indication. "Morgan? Do you think…"

"Hush Sweetie!" Lips brushed his forehead. "Power that big brain down."

**I decided to focus this chapter just on Morgan and Reid so we can see the progression in their relationship without any outside interference. James will be back causing drama soon enough. Please review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**Nannily, Sue1313, Srienia, Elephantluva, Irishgirl9, Marinelvr84 and Jenny crum. I love all your comments. They will make cute parents, definitely. I'm unable to individually address all your reviews this time but please know how much they mean to me.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 10**

"Sweetie if you tuck me in one more time…I'm going to shoot you." Morgan threatened him. "Can you just get out and talk to JJ or go for a convention? I love you but you are driving me crazy."

"Fine" Reid snapped at him as he slammed the door and stomped down the stairs. "You can starve to death. See if I care." He yelled back up. He had just about enough of his boyfriend's caveman attitude. If he didn't want to be taken care of then fine. Just have to take care of his dumb dog. He opened the back door, clicking the collar on the metal and calling for Clooney.

The yellow Lab came flying round the side of the house ears flapping in the wind. If it was possible for a dog to look naughty then this one definitely did. "I don't even want to know what you've been up to but if Mr. Hutchinson's poodle has puppies I will give you up in a heartbeat." Clooney just cocked his head and started to drag him towards the front door. "I'm coming. You are as bossy as your master."

There was a nip in the air and Reid pulled his collar up to shield his ears. He missed having long hair but he didn't want to shield his neck since Morgan couldn't seem to resist his exposed nape. He was constantly brushing his lips against it. Hot sucking kisses usually nuzzled at the base, sucking on the protruding bone then trailed to his ear. The thought of those kisses sent a flash of heat through him and he picked up the pace. He just needed to pick up Cinnamon Rolls for his cranky lover then he'd get back home and coax him out of his terrible mood.

Clooney tugged at his leash almost dislocating his shoulder in the process. They went through this every time he stayed over. Reid hated taking him for walks but he persevered because he knew how much it meant to Derek. Finally their favorite café was in sight, Reid tied Clooney to a post, a firm 'Stay' was uttered and maybe this time he wouldn't come outside and find all the potted plants uprooted with the damned dog grinning at him as if daring him to do something about it. _Better be fast with that order just in case._

Andy began to serve up his order the moment he saw him and in that moment he could forgive how he always drooled over Morgan shamelessly, saliva actually pooling at the sides of his mouth, eyelashes batting, like Reid was invisible next to him.

"Spencer."

"James? What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"Right," Reid said checking out the dark blue scrubs. "Isn't St Catherine's on the other side of town?"

"Ok you caught me. You said you love this place and I wandered over here on the off chance that I'd run into you. I didn't want to come by your office and cause more drama with your possessive boyfriend. By the way," He added trying for nonchalance. "Is that still happening?"

"What?"

"The big bad agent thing…"

"Of course it is." Reid replied in haste. He glanced over his shoulder at the offensive barista. "Did Andy say we broke up?"

"I'm not – uh sure who Andy is but you haven't been picking up your phone…"

Reid wrinkled his nose at him. This was awkward. "I'm sorry. We had a case out of town and Derek had some stuff going on so I kind of lost track of everything else. I've heard that happens…" He rushed to reassure his friend. "Couples who've just gotten together tend to focus on each other to the exclusion of everyone else. It's called a honeymoon period. But you - don't – want to hear about that. Are you okay?"

"I lost a couple of patients. It was devastating." James rumbled taking a step into Reid's personal space. "I wanted so badly to see you. You always make me feel better." Reid tried to back up but the giant yanked him into his arms wrapping him tight against his chest and – was he sniffing his hair? He struggled until he was set free and then he took several steps back. Was that snickering? Bloody Andy! If he breathed a word of this to Morgan, he'd kill him.

James stared intently at him then blurted. "Go out with me?"

"Sure just let me pick up my order…" he glared at the pink haired eavesdropping punk behind the counter as he got the paper bag. "…we can stand outside but it's pretty cold."

"That isn't what I meant." James told him just outside the door.

Reid looked around to check on Clooney. The mutt was staring back at him as if in judgement. "I know what you meant. The answer is still no." He said firmly walking down the cobbled path.

"I know I said I was cool with us the way we are but – not having seen you all this time - I can't help how I feel."

"If you want to be friends I can do that but all the flirting has to stop." Reid only got a warning growl before Clooney attacked. Barking ferociously he strained launching several missed attempts trying to get to James luckily the leash held. He'd never seen him act so viciously.

"Cloon, NO! Down!" He was stunned into silence when the dog immediately responded even though he did sit right between the two of them.

James looked pretty shook up. "When did you get a dog?"

"He's Derek's – I mean ours. Derek says he's ours, that the three of us are a family." Reid still stared in shock at what was now definitely his dog too. "I have a family!"

"You're smiling? He almost ripped me to shreds and you're smiling!"

Reid beamed back at him untying the now docile Labrador. "I have to go home now." He rushed off down the street Clooney trotting in step besides him. Genius and dog finally in perfect harmony.

"Derek" He yelled when he shut the door behind him and ripping off his jacket. "Clooney listened. He actually listened to me." Reid climbed the stairs taking two at a time. He had to share the awesome news with his boyfriend. "Morgan?" The bedroom was empty. He followed the noises down the hall to the formerly empty guest room to discover Derek shirtless sawing at panels of wood. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Morgan grinned sheepishly at him. "You have a lot of books. We need shelves."

"You have a cold. Would it kill you to stay in bed and let me help you?"

"You are helping just by standing there and looking pretty."

Reid stormed out of the room pacing in the hall to calm down. God he's stubborn! The door slowly creaked open behind him. "Did you have to tackle the unsub into a snowdrift?" He snapped.

"He was getting away."

"Emily was closer and she had her gun trained on him the entire time. You had to pull your macho crap like you always do."

"I'm sorry, babe. Come here."

Reid shuffled forward snuggling into Morgan's chest. "You'll go back to bed?" He asked in a small voice he knew his love could not resist. He could work his wiles when he needed to.

"Yes."

Reid hid his grin into the muscular neck, breathing in deeply. He remembered his news and immediately blurted it out. "Clooney listened to me." He backed away arms waving in excitement almost tripping over said dog. "I gave him an order and he listened. He almost took James' head off but he respects me now. I am a recognized member of the pack. Isn't that great? Derek?" He turned to find that Morgan had stopped and was frowning at him.

"James?"

Oh Shiiit! "He was at the café. It was nothing." Now run before he realizes you are lying. Reid fled past their bedroom heading for the stairs. "I got you a Chai latte and those rolls you love."

"I want coffee." Morgan called out after him.

"You'll take tea."

Morgan sat up and waited for Reid on their bed. It wasn't official yet but it may just as well have been. Reid spent most nights with him instead of at the tiny apartment on which he was now wasting rent money. Most of his crap was scattered all over the place. As annoying as it was he loved that his pretty boy was obviously comfortable in his home which is why he wanted to ask him to move in with him. The key in his pants burned a hole in his pocket; he'd attached it to a specially ordered keychain that intertwined a D and an S. He was nervous so many unknowns floated through his mind. What if it was too soon? What if he said no? What if the keychain was too much? He didn't even want to consider the fucker James' possible involvement with his genius.

Clooney distracted him when he rubbed a cold wet nose against him before scrambling onto the bed and laying the furry head in Morgan's lap. Dark fingers rubbed behind his ears. "You're a good boy. You deserve a steak dinner. Next time you have my permission to go straight for the jugular."

Down in the kitchen Reid's mind whirled as he set up their breakfast tray. He refused to think about what James had said. He was probably just lonely and had set his sights on the first friendly guy he'd met. It would pass. Out of the corner of his eyes he caught glimpse of a dark blue Mercedes as it rolled down the street, didn't James own one of those?


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**eideticMeMoRy22 – Welcome and thank you**

**Maryhell, Sue1313, sharkbaitz17, Nannily, Cacamilis, Irishgirl9 and jenny crum – Thanks for your reviews and for unifying in your hate/suspicion of James. **

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 11**

JJ pushed aside yet another overflowing stack of papers in her quest for the elusive cold case files. She covered her nose blocking the violent sneeze just in time. "Spence honey, this place is a pigsty. When did you last clean up?"

Reid poked his head up from underneath his dining room table. "It's not filthy just messy. The kind of mess that gets made when a person is changing places of residence."

"You're moving? Oh my God! Did Derek ask you to move in with him?"

"Not yet."

"What do you mean not yet?" She pushed aside some old maps and perched delicately on one of the chairs ready to listen. Nothing fascinated her more than the dynamics of the Morgan Reid relationship. "Are you sneak-moving in?"

"I don't know what that means."

"You know like when you stay over at a boyfriend's and on your way out you leave a toothbrush. Then next time you leave shampoo or contact solution then something else each time you're there until you've basically moved in." She picked at her thumbs to avoid Reid's stare. "Stop judging me. I was young. My first forays into relationships were difficult, not to mention humiliating."

"I bet you're glad you met Will." Reid quipped.

"Ha! Freaking ha! And yes I am. Stop ducking the question."

Reid blushed. He did have a lot of stuff over at Morgan's already and he did think of it as home. "I'm not 'sneak-moving in' he got me a key. I found it while I was going through his drawers. We have a date tonight, he was nervous when he asked me. He's never nervous so he'll probably bring it up tonight. I want to be mostly packed up when he does."

"When you say 'going through his drawers' you really mean 'snooping'?" JJ punctuated with her fingers.

"Yes." He replied without shame. "I had to move panties out by the shovelful. What kind of woman leaves their underwear at a strange man's house?"

"The kind of woman that's not used to wearing underwear."

"Thank you for putting that image in my head."

"Come on. You know you have nothing to worry about. I never thought I'd live to see the day when Derek Morgan was this whipped."

A beautiful smile lit him up. "He is. Isn't he?"

They worked in harmonious silence both keeping an eye on the clock. The files had to be faxed to the District Attorney's office in Arlington by 2 o'clock.

"So?' JJ spoke up first. "Should I conclude that the hunky surgeon is no longer a problem?" She turned around when he didn't immediately reply. "Reid? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything." Reid pretended to check some boxes. "He asked me out." He mumbled.

"Oh my God! Reid. I know you have an IQ of 187 but when it comes to relationships if you were any slower you'd need to be watered once a week."

"Hey!"

"Listen to me." She got in front of him. "Shut it down before it blows up in your face."

xxXxx

Reid waited impatiently outside his door. Morgan was late by three minutes he was so anxious it felt like three hours had crawled by. When he heard the familiar growl of his motorcycle he made his way down the path. He held back from flinging himself into Morgan's arms like he usually did.

Morgan's arms that were always ready to catch him dropped. "Where's the love, kid?"

"Over 5000 motorcycle related fatalities are reported in the US every year." Reid stared at him in disapproval. "I don't like it and I especially don't like you riding it."

"Hey, I had hoped that we were growing on you." Morgan mock surrendered patting the cool metal. "But I can and will call a cab as soon as you give me some sugar…" Reid shuffled over kissing him briefly but sweetly. He was still shy about public displays of affection especially when he had to be the one to make the first move.

They stood outside his building Morgan holding him stroking his back while they waited for a more reliable means of transportation. Reid knew he was just as likely to die in a car but he felt comforted by the thought of four wheels instead of the two that would have been keeping him from the asphalt.

"Should we wait inside?" Morgan was caressing the small of his back.

"They are – uh - tenting for termites." Termites? What a crappy excuse!

"They are tenting just your apartment?"

Think faster. "They are starting with my place."

"Okay" Morgan narrowed his eyes at him. "You know I'll get it out of you one way or another."

"Can you feed me before the torture commences?" There was no way he was letting Morgan inside seeing as he'd gone overboard as usual and packed up all his stuff. He had no idea what had happened he'd only meant to put aside the books but he'd zoned out popping bubble wrap. By the time it was time for their date his apartment was strewn with boxes and packing tape.

"Whatever you want, baby."

They dined at a small family style Italian restaurant. Good food and good wine combined with the quaint atmosphere should have relaxed him but by the time they got back to Derek's house Reid had a mild case of whiplash from turning every time Morgan reached for any thing. No key had materialized. He was disappointed, pouting and on the verge of tears.

The coffee he offered to make was as good as a distraction as any. He could hear Morgan playing with Clooney in the backyard. _He knows. All this has been a game just to mess with you. _When he heard the door open he couldn't take it any more

"He kissed me." Reid blurted as he turned around. Too late he saw the bright blue box with the silver ribbons in his hand.

"Who? Why I'm even asking? It was your doctor friend wasn't it?" The temperature in the room plummeted at the chilly tone. Reid could only watch as the blue box that bore his hopes and dreams disappeared back into corded jeans. "You need to start talking Spencer cos you are scaring the fuck out of me. Do you want to be with him?"

"NO! Of course not, I love you. You know that."

"Do I? You told me to trust you but every time I turn around there he is. Now he's kissing you and you're lying to me. How I'm I supposed to believe you?"

"He kissed me. I never kissed him back."

"Can you tell me that you didn't want to?"

"I didn't. I DON'T"

"When did this happen? Last week at the café where I wish Clooney had killed his ass?"

"I-I-" Reid paused to steady himself. "I was teaching him chess and we argued about the accuracy of Heroes. Even at its peak it was a highly overrated show, so many inconsistencies…" He was rambling. _Get to the point._ "He wanted to go by his house to show me an article about hereditary sensory autonomic neuropathy to prove that it was possible for that cheerleader to survive the fall off the bridge and I…"

"You were in his house?"

"I know it was stupid which is why I stopped seeing him and taking his calls. The meeting at the café was purely by accident."

Morgan turned on his heel and stormed out into the living room. Reid followed him like a lost puppy. "I am sorry." He could hear the panic in his voice. It overshadowed his ability to submit a coherent defense.

"I am here. Making plans for us and our future together…" Disappointment once again gave in to rage and Morgan snapped at him. " I'm always right here Reid. Where are you?"

"I am here too." Reid's voice wobbled dangerously.

"No you're not. If you want to leave there's the fucking door." He made it to the stairs before he came back whistling for Clooney. "You know what? I'll go." The resultant slam was followed by the crash of an unstable picture frame then dead silence.

Morgan let himself back in. Two hours of walking, screaming and debate still hadn't loosened his anger. Clooney shot past him wisely heading for his doggy bed. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Reid passed out on the couch. He approached him slowly heart heavy in his chest. The dried streaks of tears on the perfect porcelain skin drained him till he stood empty and exhausted his only desire for the man that lay before him. He drew got a blanket from the linen closet and headed back covering him carefully.

Reid stirred, reddened brown eyes opening slowly "Morgan? You came back."

"Of course I did."

"Because you live here?"

"I love you. There's no where else I'd rather be."

"I love you too." A pale hand took his dragging him down until he lay under his genius. Reid draped on top of him pressing lazy kisses on his brow. "Ask me." He breathed into his neck.

"Baby…maybe you need sometime to figure out what you want."

"No. I don't need time. I want to be here. I belong with you. Ask me."

"Spencer Reid," he stopped to breathe. "Will you move in with me?" A sweet mouth covered his, brown tresses falling into his eyes. "Is that a yes?"

"There's no place I'd rather be."

An intense fevered reunion later, Reid was passed out in his arms still holding on pretty tight to his key. Morgan stroked his hair unable to sleep, for the first time he worried about what the new day would bring.

_He is going to break your heart._

**AN: **No, you did not miss a chapter. I had laid the groundwork for the kiss with James just hadn't mentioned it outright. I wanted to reveal it the same way Morgan would have heard it. So you can have the same WTF reaction he did. I hope I pulled it off.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. **

**Nannily – I hope you are satisfied by the way they've communicated in this chapter.**

**Cacamilis – Your violent streak is truly a source of pleasure to me.**

**Maryhell – Thank you for complimenting the writing sometimes I worry that it's not up to scratch.**

**Marinelvr84, Jenny crum and Irishgirl9 – James is still waiting in the wings though I have not yet determined how far he'll go to get Reid.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 12**

The impromptu dinner was interesting. They'd all known they were together. They were some of the worlds' leading profilers after all but it was quite another thing to witness their union, the skinny clueless genius and Derek Morgan. This would be one for the ages.

Rossi stretched, his back cracking loudly. "For the record, pizza and beer isn't acceptable recompense for the back strain I'm sure to suffer over this afternoon's activities."

"Why are you looking at me?" Reid spoke up from the floor. "Morgan is here too."

"It was you that used the words 'little' and 'favor' in one sentence. Here is my sommelier's card. Call him first thing in the morning he knows what I like."

Prentiss laughed buried deep in the burgundy couch. "I bet he does." She picked up her bottle making a moue of distress to find it empty. She liked pizza and beer just fine.

Rossi headed for the door complaining. Hotch followed a mysterious expression on his unusually happy face. Morgan couldn't help smiling it had been a long day but Reid was finally all moved in.

"If you're not careful your face will freeze that way."

"Ignore him Morgan. You look happy."

"I am and you can look less smug." He scolded his boss.

Hotch fought the smile losing the battle when it broke through revealing his carefully buried soft side. "I helped. If I hadn't pushed him you might not be standing here looking like you're about to burst into song."

"I would have worked something out."

"I'll let you keep your illusions as long as you express your gratitude by babysitting. I need to spend some 'time'…" He waggled his dark eyebrows. "…with Beth."

Morgan was in shock here was a side of Hotch he'd never seen. "You must be wasted man."

"I will take our fearless drunk leader home." Rossi herded Hotch away waving their goodbyes.

In the kitchen, JJ glanced over at Reid. He was lost in thought wiping plates on autopilot. She nudged him. "Is he pissed?"

"Worse." He looked over to where Morgan was tossing out the empty boxes. "He's disappointed."

"He looks at you like you're going to disappear."

"Are you going to disappear?" A new voice interrupted.

"Garcia!" Much as he loved the blonde fury he knew that if it ever came down to it she'd pick Morgan over him.

"Are you going to disappear?" She repeated.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." She squeed. "You two are so effing adorable."

"You showing up after all the work is done is less than adorable." Prentiss poked at her belly while heading to the fridge for another beer.

"I don't carry heavy objects that's what Kevin is for."

"And where is Kevin?" JJ jumped in.

"I may have sexed him into a coma."

"Baby girl, there will be no filthy talk in here. This is a Christian household."

She sighed dramatically returning Morgan's hug. "If only these walls could talk… or should I say scream." She trilled unselfconsciously realizing everyone was staring at her in alarm.

"Walls can't talk!" Reid as always was completely oblivious to the innuendo.

Prentiss was at the tail end of a frantic search. "You are out of beer."

"There's some in the…" Morgan made for their fully stocked pantry.

Reid stopped him. "Hotch got it."

"How about the…"

"He got that too!"

"Wow, when he cuts loose he really goes for it."

"That's my cue to leave." Emily picked up her bag. "It's five o'clock somewhere and I'm going to go find that magical place."

JJ and Garcia agreed and they left soon after chattering loudly debating which bar was likely to yield the most fun for all three of them.

Morgan came back from saying goodbye to the girls to find Reid still standing by the sink absently stacking cutlery. He'd been withdrawn all day miles from being as chatty as he usually was. He walked over, wrapped his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck. "I know you."

He backed up when Reid turned around puzzled.

"There's no excuse for me forgetting that I know you. How kind you are and loyal – I know you would never deliberately hurt me."

Reid's eyes were boring into his very soul. "I remembered when you run over that possum and we spent the next three hours at the vet's even though he was basically DOA… what I'm saying is I know you. I know you hate it when we fight. You get all tense and fragile. I want you to know I'm never going to not come back or not love you no matter what."

Morgan took both his hands in his stroking them slowly with his big thumbs. " But we can't sweep things under the rug and hope they disappear. This ki – thing with James, I know _**how **_it happened I just want to know _**why**_ it happened."

"It's your fault."

Morgan was ready to argue mouth opening and closing before he calmed himself. "Explain"

"It's like loving you has opened my heart – not physically because that's not possible." Reid paused until Morgan indicated that he understood. "My guard is down. I'm more willing to trust people and let them in. Some days it feels like they are slipping in through the cracks setting up camp. The old me wouldn't have shaken his hand let alone gone to his house."

The tremor in Spencer's hands transferred to his and he squeezed tightly to gentle him.

Reid continued vaguely hysterical. "I am happy, one huge, happy, raw exposed nerve of happiness. I see the worst of humanity everyday and I am still happy, giddy, expecting good intentions. It never once occurred to me that he was really a threat to us. He was my friend."

"Hush baby!" Morgan hugged him rubbing his arms to warm him faster. "How about I come all the way into your heart - not physically because that's not possible - and you shut the door behind me?"

"I would love that." Reid whispered back.

"I would love that too but first, wait right here." Morgan disappeared upstairs and came back with a thick white envelope. "I got you a moving in present."

"You shouldn't have." Reid said politely before he ripped it apart like a little kid on Christmas morning. He scanned the papers then let out an audible gasp. "You put my name on the deed."

"This is officially _**our**_ house. We can figure out the rest later."

Morgan held on to the lap full of genius as Reid made slow sweet love to his mouth, working his hips on his lap. He loved the smell of his skin, the noises he made when he was in his arms.

"These are happy tears, right?" Morgan came up for air. "You cry a lot more than I expec- mmph!"

They moved from the kitchen chair to the hall stripping all the way unable to let go of each other for even a second. Eventually they crashed a foot from their bed the last step forgotten in their urgency to be together. Morgan licked up his neck working desperately inside him swallowing every sobbed cry. Their union got carnal, urgent until they collapsed spent to the soft carpet.

Hours later Reid roused from slumber, the dead of night was always the coldest for him and he shuffled closer seeking his lover's body heat. It took him almost falling off the other end of the bed to poke open an eye and realize Morgan wasn't lying next to him. The electronic clock beeped 3 o'clock, the space he now snuffled in had long since gone cold. He tried not to take it personally as he got out of bed to find his missing lover.

Reid took the stairs following the flashing lights and shrill cheering to the den. Morgan chuckled when he saw him probably cos he'd taken to wearing the larger man's clothes to bed – yes he was that guy – the t-shirt and silk boxers hang off of him in a ridiculous fashion.

"Nightmare?" He queried.

"Yeah. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to bed."

Reid picked up the remote and turned off the TV. "Watching sports will not help you relax, its too stimulating."

"I'm too old for warm milk."

"Come back to bed. I have an idea."

Once again tucked beneath the covers Morgan was disappointed but not surprised when Reid pulled out a book. "This is not what I expected."

"It's Homer's Iliad in its original Greek. I'll bore you to sleep." Reid settled besides him, back against the pillow and picked up his book light.

"I don't know about this."

"You keep saying I'm the genius so trust me."

"Can't you recite it from your head by now?"

"I can but the ritual of being read to should evoke childhood memories that will make you relax faster."

"My dad used to read to me before he – um – you know."

"I didn't think of that."

"Just read, Reid." He smiled. "Read Reid."

Reid flipped open the book ready to begin.

Wait!" Morgan snapped one eye open. "I can suddenly think of nothing hotter than you speaking to me in Greek. It might elicit the opposite reaction of sleep."

"I'll just translate to English as I go." A low murmuring filled the room._ "Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were…"_

'That will do it." Morgan interrupted.

"…_the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another."_

"Oh God this is how I'm going to die. Let me call my mama one last time."

"Shut up and listen." Reid flicked his forehead. "Keep your eyes closed."

By the time he got half way through Book 1, Morgan had blacked out and was snoring rather loudly. Reid found it comforting as he turned off his book light and snuggled up. The rumbling sound lulled him to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. Nannily, Irishgirl9 and Marinelvr84. **

**RiverofSerenity – Thank you. I will consider your idea about the proposal. **

**Doctor Sexy - Thanks for reviewing so many chapters at once. It was super amazing.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 13**

Reid folded another shirt tucking it neatly into the corner of the suitcase. He collected toiletries from the bathroom mentally checking them off one by one. Shoes. He'd need an extra pair of shoes.

"Hey" Morgan pulled him to a halt stopping his whirl of activity. " I know you're stressed out. This is the first night we'll spend apart since you moved in. Do you want me to cancel?"

"No. It's tradition. I understand." Reid ran his hands over his lover's thick muscles. He didn't want to stop touching him but it was unrealistic to think they could be together all the time without outside interference. "I was never in a fraternity but I understand the concept of brotherhood. They are your friends. You have to go."

Morgan cupped his face tilting it back until their eyes met. "Its just two days." Reid nodded. "I'll be back before you know it."

He nodded again. "You need socks."

"You have already packed me five pairs." Morgan sat on the bed making him straddle him. The pert butt rested on his lap. "I'm going to miss you too."

Their kiss began soft and gentle. Delicate brushes as they breathed each other in, weighed down by their goodbye. Strong hands traced his spine, stroking up to his shoulders then burying in his hair.

"You're so beautiful." Morgan ate at his mouth swallowing his denial. "Say 'Yes Derek'"

"Yes Derek." He echoed. He felt beautiful when Derek touched him, looked at him.

"I love you." Morgan breathed into his mouth between the long drawn out kisses.

The slow grinding infused Reid's body with heat and he dug his knees into the mattress pressing down to meet Morgan's hips. "I love you too." He whispered.

Impatient honking shattered their bliss, the cabbie obviously leaning on the horn. "I gotta go." Morgan kissed him one last time helping him stand before zipping up his bag. "You have all the numbers." He patted Clooney on his way out. "You two take care of each other." Reid nodded a painful smile on his face. The moment the door closed he glanced at the clock. Two days seemed like a very long time.

xxXxx

Reid reluctantly descended into the dimly lit house, Garcia leading the way. Out of sheer boredom he had agreed to accompany her to a vampire themed birthday party for one of her hacker friends. Bare red bulbs hung from the ceiling, black curtains covered all the windows. The air inside was thick and burning incense stung his nostrils. It was what he imagined hell would look like if the devil still lived at home with his mother. However, anything was better than rattling around in their big empty house counting down the hours till Derek returned. He'd been gone less than a day and Reid felt like he was coming out of his skin. He missed him so much.

"Where is Kevin?" He asked dodging a tall bearded man with long blond pigtails and knee high socks under a small skirt. Reid had no problem with gender bending but would it have killed him to shave? Try to sell the look a little?

"He's stuck at work. You were the next best thing."

"This " He spat out a glittery feather that floated from the ceiling. "Is outside my realm of experience. Who are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Lily Munster. She was so deliciously creepy." Garcia absently waved at a couple that was eating each other's faces on the couch. A black eyed stranger handed her two glasses and they exchanged pleasantries for a bit. Reid didn't catch his name just that he was a friend of a friend.

When she passed him a glass Reid regarded the drink with great suspicion. It was bright red and smoking. Hopefully this was the effect of red dye and dry ice not a concoction dreamed up by the overly imaginative host.

"Come on genius, live a little." She insisted.

He took it carefully. "Bottom's up!" Garcia clinked their glasses together and tossed down the vile looking liquid. He followed suit then coughed up a lung as it scorched down his throat. It tasted even worse than it looked.

"I am still sticking out like a sore thumb." Reid cleared his throat again pointing at his tie, white shirt and chinos that were glaringly normal amid the various costumes. Not to mention the fake pointy canines that gleamed with every smile. "You should have told me to buy a costume. People are staring."

"I can fix that." Garcia grinned at him then dashed off returning with a black cape and teeth. He put on the first and declined the second. He wouldn't put it past her to have pinned some hapless man down and pried them out of his mouth. She circled him straightening out the black satin before shrugging. "You'll do."

Garcia shoved through the crowd, stopped abruptly then turned around and clapped her hand on his chest. "But remember we gotta be out of here by midnight."

"Why? Do they all turn into bats?"

"More like horny little toads who try to recreate that orgy scene from True Blood."

Reid flushed at the word orgy. The very idea of these people naked, twisting, writhing, touching him left him cold. He didn't want to know why they'd need real blood but he didn't care. Just then a tiny man in wings and tights brushed up against him suggestively. He shuddered. "Midnight. Got it."

"I'm going to go find Manny, wish him a happy birthday and have a girly gab fest."

"No. No. No." He grabbed her arm. "Don't leave me alone with these people. I don't do well at parties."

"You wont be alone. You just need a friend. A – very – geeky - friend." She spun around slowly, stripped wig bobbing. "Bingo!" She cackled.

"Hey. I'll have you know that I am…"

"More than a geek? I know, sweetie." Garcia turned him around to face a ragtag group of 'vampires' and pointed at the one that was doubling as a disco ball. "Edward Cullen over there speaks Klingon."

"Really? That is fascinating. Is he fluent? Klingon is the most popular fictional language by…"

"Honey. Go." She shooed him. "Be with your people."

Reid turned to wave at Garcia one last time. She was balanced half out the car window blowing kisses at him, he hoped Kevin had a good hold on her. He'd worry about it in the morning. Being a complete lightweight he was already swaying dangerously down the path fumbling in his pockets for his keys. Two beers and six shots of the evil brew later he'd succeeded in not focusing on Morgan every second. He'd actually had fun with the shiny man whose real name it turned out wasn't Edward Cullen.

After taking a third wrong turn Reid emerged from the hedges out back pulling twigs out of his hair. His legs and brain were disconnected. I will never drink again he promised. Then for some reason he spent the next ten minutes laughing at his shadow before he opened the back door.

A delicious smell hit him. Pots were boiling on the stove and the table was set up with candles and wine. Derek was home! Determined to give him a proper welcome Reid began to tug at his clothes. The bloody costume was a lot harder to remove and he stumbled into the hall all thumbs still pulling at the strings of the black cape. The golden lump that lay unnaturally still on the living room carpet stopped him in his tracks.

"Clooney" He called as he walked towards the dog but it didn't as much as stir. Something was wrong.

"Honey, you're home."

Strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind holding him tight. Reid's heart began to thunder in his chest, his mind fuzzy from all the alcohol. "James, what are you doing in my house?"

"It's our house, silly"


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews. Nannily, Jenny Crum, Maryhell, Sue1313, Elephantluva, Irishgirl9, Cacamilis and Marinelvr84. **

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 14**

Reid struggled finally succeeding in tearing from the strong arms. He sped across the room and dropped to his knees in an oily dark patch. Up-close the golden fur was peppered with red dots; two gashes rent Clooney's side steadily dripping the crimson sludge. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Intoxicated his mind was stuck on that pressing litany.

"What did you do?" Reid shrieked. "He's not moving."

James twisted a meaty fist in the voluminous black folds and yanked him to his feet. "I took care of you."

Jamming an elbow into his abdomen, Reid escaped his hold a lucid moment crept into his mind. Stop the bleeding. He made quick work of the knots in the cape, bunching up the glossy fabric and pressed it up against the lacerations. It wasn't absorptive enough. His hands stained a violent red as life trickled through his fingers. Take care of each other. Those were the last words Derek had said to him. Take care of each other.

"Clooney? Shit!" He pleaded desperately. "Cloon, be a good boy and get up." Shallow breathing was his only response and panicked he looked around the room replacing the cape with a cotton throw pillow.

James paced behind him. Heavy purposeful footsteps getting more impatient but Reid was oblivious to his own personal peril. He needed to call Dr. Vaughn, he was the closest vet and kept flexible hours he would know what to do. Inch by painful inch he searched his pockets but that didn't change their interiors. His phone was gone, probably dropped somewhere out back.

"Call the vet." He yelled over his shoulder, reciting the number out loud. James just stared maliciously back at him. "Fine. I'll do it."

Their home phone was on the other side of the room and he jumped over Clooney to get to it. James got to the black device before he did. He ripped it from the outlet, snapping the cord and catapulting it into the opposite wall where it disintegrated. Purple faced, breathing hard, James glared at him. Whatever tenuous hold he'd had on his homicidal rage seemed to be slipping.

"I was saving you." He said.

"From what?" Reid snapped back. "Overactive salivary glands? Bestial snobbery?"

"I have tried for weeks to get him to like me. I brought food and toys but all he did was snarl and bark. Look what he did." James rolled up a sleeve to reveal fresh stitches. "He was vicious and he had to be put down. If he'd eaten the burger I brought he would have gone to sleep and died instead he made me stab him. Now he's lying there soiling our carpet."

"You tried to poison my dog and you want me to be grateful?" Reid stepped back, twisting away. "This is not your home!"

Pain exploded in the side of his face as a powerful fist hurled him through the air. Reid landed hard, his skull connecting with the side of the coffee table with a sick thud. Waves of agony streaked from the impact zone, rattling his brain. Even as he rolled to his side the contents of his tummy churning, threatening to make reappearance he was stunned with disbelief. No matter what James had done to Clooney, Reid hadn't believed he would ever hurt _him_. He needed to think realistically before his hubris got him killed.

"Why do you make me hurt you?" James yelled at him, spittle flying. "I just want to love you. Why wont you let me?"

Reid struggled to his feet. Mouth flooded with bile, a sharp metallic taste from where he'd bitten his tongue chased down his throat. James loomed over him, devolving from friendly surgeon to sadistic brute. This wasn't the man he knew. A complete stranger stared back at him through cold green eyes, face hewn from granite. He was trapped in his house with a mad man. Reid had never wanted Derek more. He wanted to throw an epic tantrum, roll around on the floor and bawl for his partner but he couldn't. Derek trusted him to defend their home and protect their family; he would not let him come home to a dead dog and a dead boyfriend.

"I am sorry." Reid whispered hoarsely. Limping forward he ignored the shooting pain in his right side. James was a big bear of a man, easily 6'5 and more than thrice the breadth of Reid. He needed a plan. Their guns were locked up when they were at home, two in the bedroom safe and two in the den. Far enough that they might as well have been on a different planet for all the good they could do him now. Reid was no match for him in a physical battle; he had to be smarter, more cunning. He'd witnessed enough to know he was dealing with a love obsessional stalker. Feeding into James' fantasy was the easiest way to get out of this alive. "I was testing you."

"James widened his eyes meeting him halfway. "Really?" He asked hopefully gently taking both his hands into his.

Reid nodded grimace morphing into a seductive smile. "I had to know how far you'd go to prove your love for me."

"Oh honey!" James beamed at him, eyes a bright sparkly emerald with unshed tears. "I would do anything for you."

A faint snuffling sound drew his attention and Reid glanced back unable to resist the sounds of distress. He had to act fast before they lost Clooney. Steel bands clamped down on his hands painfully crashing the bones. Reid swore to himself. Rookie mistake! Don't take your eyes off the unsub. "Sorry."

"Its okay, darling. You have such a soft heart. Its one of the things I love the most about you."

"I love you too." Reid held his gaze selling the idea with his very soul. He swallowed his revulsion. Meeting the firm lips as they captured his, a thick tongue plunging repeatedly into his mouth.

"I have a present for you." A childlike beam was bestowed on him. "Wait right here."

Reid spun around when James disappeared to get his 'present' but it was too much, too fast and his head swam in a dizzy spell. He swayed body fading fast, heart pounding, crashing onto the couch. The nearest phone was in the kitchen, he couldn't run without Clooney and the dog was too heavy to lift. If he left him behind James might kill him out of spite.

James interrupted his scheming, a tricolored furry bundle squirming in his arms.

"You got me a…" Reid squinted trying to focus.

"Cat. Yes. You seem more like a cat person." He dumped it on Reid's lap. "This is Einstein. He's really smart like you and has green eyes like me." The cat merely gave him a regal glare before jumping down, probably off to explore his new kingdom. "Do you like it?"

"Yes" Reid whispered. The irony of getting a cat was not lost on him.

"Show me how much." Hot breath preceded a thick tongue that slithered up and down his exposed neck.

xxXxx

Morgan sat on the first stair of the wooden porch, foot tapping impatiently. "Pick up. Pick up." He muttered to himself. For the sixth time Reid's phone went straight to voicemail. "What the fuck!"

Dialing another number he was relieved when it was picked up. "Hey, baby girl! I'm sorry I know it's late but have you seen Reid?"

"Morg'?" She mumbled voice laden with sleep. "He's home we dropped him off like an hour ago."

"Dropped him off from where?" He asked carefully really put out that Reid wasn't home pining over him.

"Manny's birthday party. It was crazy fun and Reid was pretty wasted. He's probably passed out and can't hear the phone."

"That's great!"

"Hey. You don't get to be mad when you left him alone for two days to go hang out with your ex."

"Max is just one of the guys. There's nothing else going on."

"You sound miserable." Garcia stumbled out of bed when Kevin shushed her. "Why did you go if you didn't want to?"

"I didn't - don't want us to be one of those clingy codependent couples that can't function away from each other."

"How's that going for you?"

"I miss him like crazy." The sound of breaking glass drew his attention. Paul was juggling beer bottles, one of which just shattered on the floor. Juan stood up on a stool waving his arms about probably ranting in Spanish about his ex-wife and the evils of divorce again. The rest were around somewhere definitely engaging in acts equally idiotic. He wouldn't be missed.

"This was stupid. I'm coming home." He announced.

"Hallelujah!" Garcia cheered dryly. " Now can I go back to bed?"

"Sure thing, mama. Sweet dreams."

**I took a long time working on this chapter. My bad! I struggled a lot constantly second-guessing myself. It turns out I find writing smut easier than writing violence. It's believable. Right?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews they gave me confidence to finish this chapter Brandy, Nannily, Jenny Crum, Maryhell, Elephantluva, Irishgirl9, Cacamilis and Guest. **

**LL-Bean – Thanks for your comment and for enjoying the story. I've fixed the 'cos' in chapter 8 but I haven't gone through the entire story yet. I will get to it as soon as I can.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 15**

Morgan shoved clothes into his bag haphazardly. Now that he'd made the decision to go home he couldn't wait to get the hell out of the beach house. He checked the bathroom and closet again but he was still missing a shoe. Ah fuck it! He could always buy another one.

The unanswered phone calls were getting to him. He wouldn't be able to rest until he saw Reid. The nagging feeling he'd had earlier had snowballed into full blown panic that something was very wrong. After a few drinks Reid got really hyper not sluggish so he should have been bouncing off the walls by now not passed out.

"Hey! You're leaving?" A deep voice startled him.

Morgan turned an apologetic smile on his face. "I'm sorry Max. I need to go home right now."

"To your boyfriend?" The mocking tone was tossed back at him. "You are now that guy? We hated that guy."

"I know." Morgan smiled perching on the bed. "I am now that guy. Slightly baffled by my life's weird turn but still really happy about it."

"Yeah well, looks like you've been domesticated my friend." Max sat on the bed next to him giving him a knowing look. "I should meet this paragon of virtue. I never thought I'd see the day when you'd leave a party at fucking midnight to go home."

"I have to." Morgan said plainly. "I miss him."

"Ah! You are killing me! You live an hour away; you've had a few beers. Stay and party with me, come morning I will dust the sin off of you and send you back to your love mostly unscathed. That's my final offer." He declared.

Morgan gave a sigh of relief when relentless hooting blasted the night air. "Sorry brah. That's my cab."

"Next time you won't get off so easy." Knowing Max that was not an idle threat but for now Morgan's mind was already on the road.

Their hug was long-drawn-out and familiar, born over years of troubles and triumphs with only each other to celebrate or commiserate. One last squeeze and Morgan let go. "If you ever take a break from ruining lives you can come up and meet him." He waited for the reluctant 'okay' before running out to the cab.

xxXxx

Reid swallowed the urge to vomit yet again. James lay almost full length over him caressing him gently as if to fool himself that there was love involved in the ridiculous farce that was being reenacted on the couch. Animalistic growls poured out of him when his hands slipped under Reid's shirt brushing the soft skin. Gritting his teeth hard not to scream out in outrage, Reid wondered how far he would go to save his life, to save Clooney's.

Would it be any less rape if he consented? Initiated it even? Would Morgan look at him the same way again when he found out?

"James?" Reid smiled through the sickening lurch of his belly.

"Yes, my love."

"I'm starving. Could we eat first before we get to the main course?" He flushed delicately putting emphasis on the 'main course'. A finger rubbed circles on James' arm; Reid dropped his lids peering up at him through his fine lashes, a slight quiver of his lower lip.

James visibly reined in his lust much to Reid's relief. He had stayed his execution so to speak. He grabbed onto the thick neck when James swept him into his arms and carried him to the kitchen. Looking pleased he placed Reid in the high back chair pausing for his reward for the incongruous romantic gesture. The phone on which so much hinged lay in pieces in a corner. Shit!

Reid searched the room for a potential weapon when James ducked into the pantry whistling a jaunty tune. The table was devoid of cutlery. Breaking the wine bottle and stabbing James reeked of a lifetime movie script. He'd have to muffle the sound of breaking glass and stab him in the throat to achieve a satisfactory level of incapacitation. It was too complicated with undeterminable measures of success. Occam's razor stated that he should stick with the simplest theory when loosely applied to his situation.

The kitchen knives were in a drawer, all he needed was one that he'd hide in a favorable place until he could get to it later. An oldie and hopefully a goodie. Reid lowered himself off the stool and crouched sneaking around the counter. He fumbled with the knob, hands shaking as adrenaline flooded his system. Metal sliding against metal was deafening in the quiet room and he realized the whistling had stopped.

Reid popped up behind the counter meeting the death glare. Livid, nostrils flaring, James looked ready to vault over the counter to get to him. There was no time for planning or thought. Picking up the boiling pot on the stovetop with his bare hands, Reid tossed the contents at him and run. Anguished bellows trailed after him. Reid hit the stairs and kept going, flying up them two at a time. The seared flesh of his hands was one more pain to deal with later.

About to pivot at the landing his leg was grabbed right above the ankle. Reid fell to the steps. Remaining on the offensive he flipped to his back, his foot connecting solidly with the blistered face. He heard an audible crack, the nose caved in and James roared with rage releasing his foot. Reid scrambled up the stairs, hands and knees working. One more step and he'd he home free locked behind the solid bedroom doors, armed with a gun and a phone. But he'd celebrated too soon and in that split second of distraction, James caught up to him.

Reid shielded his head; bony arms an insufficient barrier as he was flung into the wall. He crumpled to the tan carpet right arm stretched out behind him at a peculiar angle. Sweat dotted his brow, blood dripping from a cut in his forehead his palms still burned in remembrance of their abuse. He tried to focus ignore the throbbing pain, find James and thwart his next attack but the house only resounded with a menacing silence, as Reid gasped for breath that may very well be his last.

"I loved you, you stupid cunt!"

A heavy kick caught his 11th and 12th rib, cracking one possibly both. Reid curled up into a ball defending his vulnerable areas from the subsequent viciously executed strikes. He screamed in agony when dragged to his feet by the hair, damp strands popping out of his scalp follicle by follicle.

"Spencer, honey."

Reid could barely hear him through the ringing in his ears. He glanced warily at him through swollen eyes; the sudden change to sickening sweet tone was ominous.

Thick brutal fingers held his jaw in place leaving him no escape from the crazed lovesick eyes. "Come away with me." James whispered. "We can make this work just the two of us."

Right arm dangling useless from his side Reid resigned himself to the futility of his position. He wasn't going to leave this house, wouldn't see another dawn, and worst of all he would never see Derek again. It was so unfair of life to dangle his dream before him then rip it away in the cruelest of manner. His eyes slipped closed, the future was lost he could only look back at the past grasping at every memory of a smile, a touch, a kiss.

"Darling?" James whispered ardently. "Tell me you love me and only me and let's leave this place." Moist repugnant kisses followed his declaration, sucking hard on his neck, the vile hands traced down his body fingering his belt.

Reid flinched back. "NO"

"What? I'm not good enough for you." The explosion was inevitable, a hard fist rammed into his belly and Reid cried out, bracing himself for more pain sure to come.

"If I can't have you, no one can." James proclaimed. Reid panicked gasping for air when big hands closed around his neck tightening slowly. A horrible cliché stood before him choking the life out of him. Scratching ineffectually at the thick wrists Reid fought his last breath knocked out of him when he was slammed against the wooden stair railing.

James heaped abuse on him every vulgar word punctuated by a body slam against the weakening staircase. Reid was bent far over his spine sure to snap under the unnatural angle. James' formerly attractive face was distorted with rage, saliva dribbled down the side of his mouth, a demonic light in his eyes. Black splotches populated Reid's vision as James crushed his windpipe. The hand railing groaned under their combined weight before giving way.

Reid pitched backward, sailing through the air. A single gasp for air tore through his lungs with relief before he crashed into the console table shattering it with the sheer force of his drop. Stunned Reid fought to stay awake. His body rejected every command to move. Where was James?

He craned his neck slowly looking over his shoulder. James hang impaled on stray balustrade, a jagged edge stabbed through his neck another tore through his abdomen. Reid recoiled from the gruesome sight, especially the macabre grin and dead eyes distorting the angular blistered face. He zeroed in on the bulge in his pocket out of which a cellphone peeped.

Laboriously Reid half crawled towards the hanging body, he kept a vigilant eye out for any twitching. He would not fall victim to the horror movie fake-out. A flash of color stopped his heart, only starting up again when Einstein stalked around him continuing on its travels unperturbed. It was official; he hated cats. Slowly he inched forward dragging his right arm, his foot caught on every turn spreading red-hot agony through his body. His focus was singular he had to get to that phone.

Inch by inch he shuffled across what felt like a thousand mile stretch. Getting as close as he dared he shoved a hand sending the body swinging he caught the phone as it dropped and shuffled back out of range. Elated he raised it to dial and hesitated. He knew the numbers 911. They had been drummed into his head as child. His mother's paranoia that eventually spiraled into full-blown schizophrenia had created an environment in which 911 were the first numbers he would tap into a phone. But not this time, he tapped squinting through the sweat and blood that dripped down his forehead. His head wound(s) must have reopened in the fall.

Reid's body was crashing. Waves of dizziness and nausea roiled through him, the adrenal fatigue was brutal. It took a few tries before he got the right combination.

"Morgan?" He rasped.

"Baby, what the hell? I've been calling you for hours.

"I am sorry –"

"It is one o'clock in the morning, whose phone is this?" Morgan yelled at him the worry and the jealousy evident in his voice. "I can barely hear you. Reid?"

"I'm so –" Overwhelmed he fought for words. "- Sorry. I tried to take care of him like you said."

"Reid? Talk to me. What's going on?"

With effort Reid got out the words he'd been literally dying to say all night. "I – I – love you. So much!" Tears poured unchecked down his face. "Come home."

Abrupt spasms of coughing rattled his ribcage; painful heaves ejected a blood red watery discharge to the hard wood floor. He was bleeding internally, all hope like the phone slipped useless from his numb fingers.

"Call – vet." He croaked inaudibly his vision fading from the edges. Oblivion beckoned and he answered.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thank you for sticking with me. You guys are the best!**

**Jenny Crum, Sue1313, Antigone21, Maryhell, Nannily, Irishgirl9, Wolfpawn, and Brandy.**

**Steph – Thank you for rereading the whole story. I appreciate your dedication.**

**KurenaiCakes and Sashathetech – Thank you. Thank you. Welcome.**

**Sorry I take so long to update. This story is my labor of love; please bear with me as I work through this new tragic territory. Remember when this story used to be light and funny? I do and I can't wait to get back there.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 16**

Morgan slid into the back seat of the yellow cab phone in hand. He made to dial then thought better of it and slid his phone into his pants pocket. He was a little surprised that of the two of them it was him and not Reid that was struggling with their separation. Giving in he yanked it out and tried Reid's phone again, after a few halfhearted rings it went straight to voicemail again. Dammit!

"Hey man, where to?"

Morgan glanced up to find the cabdriver with a raised brow staring at him impatiently. In a city populated by old, fat or bald cabbies, how'd he get so lucky to be stuck with a fresh-faced Sean John wearing kid? His first thought was that the cab was stolen but what sort of criminal stole a car then put it to work instead of going on a joyride?

"Mr. Babar?" He asked squinting at the prominently displayed permit featuring a bearded man, years older than the current imposter. "Why do you look nothing like your photograph?"

"What are you a cop?"

"Worse" Morgan said calmly flashing his badge.

"Oh my god!" Impudence dissolved into panic as the kid pulled the low cap off his head. "I didn't steal it I swear. It is my uncles he's sick and I…had to…I'm going to jail…I won't do well in jail man…"

Morgan interrupted the bumbling explanation. "Your uncle is sick and you are driving for him because your family can't afford to lose the revenue, right?" Quick nod. "What's your name?"

Eyes huge with fear stared back at him. "Naseer"

"Ok. Naseer. You seem like a good kid."

"I am. I swear." He jumped in breathless.

"Do you have a license?"

Confused fumbling produced a carefully preserved license in a knock off wallet. He was nineteen which in Morgan's current state was good enough. He handed it back to the kid who took it with relief grateful to not be getting arrested for impersonation.

"Fine. Let's go then." Morgan gave him his address and leaned back checking his phone one last time. Still no messages. He was going to paddle Reid's ass when he got home. No matter how mad or drunk he was there was no excuse for him worrying Morgan like this.

As they slowed to a crawl caught by yet another red light, Morgan huffed in impatience and resisted the urge to berate the kid. Now, good and scared Naseer hugged the steering wheel as much as the seatbelt would let him. He followed all traffic stipulations to the letter. Miss Daisy had not been driven this carefully. It made for a long, safe but excruciating journey.

Almost home the ringing of the phone in his hand and low vibration startled him and he frowned at the unknown numbers before picking up.

"Morgan?" The voice rasped.

Reid? "Baby, what the hell? I've been calling you for hours."

"I am sorry –"

"It is one o'clock in the morning, whose phone is this?" Morgan yelled. Worry permeated his brain spilling over into irrational jealousy. Who was his pretty boy with this late?

Morgan leaned forward clapping his hand over his other ear to block out the noisy traffic. "I can barely hear you. Reid?"

"- Sorry. I tried to take care of him like you said."

At the catch in Reid's voice, Morgan's jealousy morphed into unease then exploded into terror, full-grown terror that stole all reason. "Reid? Talk to me. What's going on?" He yelled.

"I – I – love you. So much!" At the long pause desolation demanded an audience. He gripped the phone tighter, hard plastic digging into his palm straining to listen. "Come home."

"Call 911!" He yelled at the stunned cabbie.

Naseer who had been giving him increasingly worried glances in the rear view mirror stammered. "W-W-What address?"

"The one I gave you and step on it!"

Despite the lack of response at the other end of the line Morgan kept shouting for his lover, horrific images bombarding his brain. He could hear his address being repeated to the 911 dispatchers as the cab squealed to a stop outside his house.

At first look there was no apparent cause for concern. The exterior of the house oozed normalcy. The chipped garden gnome Reid picked up at a garage sale held its spot amidst the fallen leaves its mischievous smile vaguely sinister in the moonlight. Lights blazed from every single window a sharp contrast to the other dark houses that lined the street. An oppressive silence instead of Clooney's enthusiastic welcome filled the night sky. Heart racing, anxiety dogging his steps Morgan approached the house, drawing his weapon out of habit.

Unformed fleeting prayers bounced around his skull as he slipped his key into the lock and turned the handle. The familiar dreadful stench of death assaulted his nostrils as the door swung silently open into a nightmare.

A wood skewered body too large to be his lover's hang from the shattered railing in a mock inverted crucifixion. He lowered his gun eyes catching on the still figure that lay crumpled beneath the gruesome sight. Procedure forgotten he raced towards his lover who lay amidst the debris like a broken doll.

"Baby?" He whispered hoarsely dropping to his knees turning him fully onto his back. His pretty boy was barely recognizable under the mottled bruises and swollen lids. Dark brown ligature marks encircled his neck. Blood soaked hair stuck to his scalp.

"They are on their way." Naseer's footsteps echoed then stumbled to a halt behind him. "Oh god, oh god! I'm going to be sick!" Retching sounds came from the living room adding a new dimension to the rancid smells filling the house.

Morgan's hands drifted up over the thin body looking for a place to land that wasn't black, or blue or red. Reid's wrist was limp and fragile in his hand a faint pulse flickering its hope in the dark.

"Dude, I think your dog is dead"

Even as he reeled from the loss he could not leave Reid. "Are you sure?" He roared back at Naseer who stood stunned against the doorjamb looking like one more surprise would knock him to his knees. "Go back and be sure."

Seconds later he stumbled back. "I think he's still breathing." The kid's eyes had glazed over blood streaking his hands.

"Okay. Listen to me. Naseer!" Morgan snapped when he drifted off. "I know this is hard on you. I know that but you gotta help me out okay? Take him to the vet. Bleeker Street. Dr. Vaughn. His practice is right at the turn. You can't miss it. Please hurry."

Giving him a jerky nod the kid teetered out returning with the big dog cradled in his arms staggering under the weight. "Kid" Naseer turned back carefully avoiding the mangled body. "His name is Clooney…talk to him…thank you…tell him I'm sorry I can't…" He choked down emotion. "Just talk to him." Torn he watched the kid hurry out the door his furry friend in his arms.

"Baby hold on!" Left behind in his gutted life he cupped Reid's cooling cheeks and whispered. "You can't leave me… you promised to stay with me…." All the things he wanted to say jumbled into an incoherent mess. "Forever."

Just then the flood of EMT's and local law enforcement burst through the open door pushing him back as they crowded his lover's body yelling medical jargon. In a blur he backed away unaware of the sympathetic glances of familiar faces on the force.

Time leaped forward in scary leaps and bounds. It was like he blinked and found himself in the back of the ambulance as it cut a swath through the city streets siren wailing. Morgan watched helplessly as the EMT's worked their magic and steadily lost. His heart ill equipped to deal with the shock merely shut down. Even as he went through the motions he braced himself, subconsciously preparing for the worst.

The hospital in the dead of night was a scary place. Fingering his iPhone he sat in the corner of the waiting room. He should call someone he thought. Garcia or Hotch or oh god JJ – JJ would want to know! He should call someone, anyone; he didn't want to be alone except he was. The one person he needed more than anything fought for his life beyond the unassuming doors.

Morgan looked around the bleak white room, a solitary bunch of flowers wilting in a blue vase the only sign of life. So many other lonely people were scattered around the room clinging to their seats like life rafts on a crazy despondent sea. Numb with stress they merely glanced at him and looked away. They had bigger concerns than the blood caking his hands. Reid's blood.

A surgeon came in shoulders taut, lips pursed so tight he could only be delivering bad news. Morgan tensed then breathed a sigh of relief when he walked past him heading to a young couple. Holding onto each other the woman – girl really – wept bitter tears grief carving new lines on her brow. She clung to the man-boy just as shell-shocked as she was but trying so hard to be strong for her.

Morgan jumped up and left the room ashamed to witness their pain. He paced the halls dreading when the doctor would come to him with the bad news that his love was gone, his life over. An old lady squeezed his shoulder as she hobbled past kind eyes meeting his with understanding after all they were comrades in arms on the losing side of an unfair war.

He hated hospitals. Hated how death haunted its halls stripping humans of their illusions of immortality leaving them powerless, helpless, and squirming at the mercy of God. Loneliness and grief nipped at his heels determined to bring him down and welcome him like an old friend. He leaned against the wall sinking to the floor struggling for breath, struggling for thought.

"Morgan" His name came to him as if from a great distance. Hotch stood above him coat askew, hair mused he looked flustered, totally flabbergasted. If the world's most unflappable man was this agitated what hope was there for the rest of them?

"How?" Morgan murmured disoriented. "I didn't…"

"I got a call from the police chief." Hotch collapsed to the floor next to him. "What happened?"

"I left him." Morgan responded broken. "I shouldn't have left him."

"**God has mercifully ordered that the human brain works slowly; first the blow, hours afterwards the bruise."**

**Walter de la Mare, The Return.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Maryhell – I'm sorry. Hope I didn't take too long this time.**

**Jennycrum, Wolfpawn, Kurenaicakes, Guest1, Guest2, Nannily, Idontdanceigrind, Sashathetech, Combatcrazy and Cacamilis. – Thank you for being loyal to this story.**

**Gubleronics – Loved you review. More please!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 17**

"**Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws. – Douglas Adams."**

A phone call coming in at 3:17am wasn't enough to cause a flare of panic in any of them. Regular people with regular jobs might have jerked awake with apprehension but for these four, life at the BAU had numbed the natural human fear of the middle of the night phone call. So it was that JJ, Garcia, Rossi and Prentiss in that order picked up their handsets with the varied reactions of irritation, incomprehension, rage and swearing. One word from their boss sent them scurrying into the night so distressed by the news nothing mattered more than the journey to the hospital. Not even their loved ones that they'd left behind with a kiss or an excuse as they raced to support their other family.

"What the hell happened?" Rossi growled as he approached the huddled mass in the middle of the waiting room.

Diminished by tragedy, they stood close together stunned by this unexpected blow so close to home. Prentiss and JJ both of whom had stood unaffected at their most gruesome of crime scenes looked ready to break despite their practiced poise. Their tears only held back by sheer force of will. Garcia, who as always wore her heart on her sleeve, was the only visible mess. Blotchy skin and scraggly hair screamed out her pain.

"We just dropped him off" Garcia sobbed her teary eyes huge and red rimmed. "Nothing was out of place. I should have gone inside." Emily attempted to sooth her by rubbing her back.

Rossi shuffled from foot to foot unsure what to do. Female tears always left him helpless and he turned with relief when Hotch came back in. "How is Morgan?"

"He's not good." Hotch pulled a striped tie out of his coat pocket. "I cannot seem to get him to stop blaming himself." Knotting it with tight jerky movements, he looked around at the assembled team. They were all looking at him for counsel like they always did. One of their own had gotten hurt and they all needed answers. The Unit Chief title had never rested so uneasily on his shoulders. "Any word on Reid?"

"Nothing yet," JJ answered shakily. "He's only been in surgery for a couple of hours. That's a good sign, right?" She finished hopefully. It was a foolish thing to cling to but in difficult times even the slightest hope could keep them from going under. She looked around at the wan faces all of whom murmured their assent, none of them wanted to even consider a world that no longer held their genius.

Hotch looked at them with hard eyes. The weight of his leadership required that he take control of the situation. There was still work to be done, answers to be found, sense to be made of this madness. "Rossi and I will go to the crime scene and see what we can find out." He passed out orders. "Garcia, Morgan's through there." He pointed at the swinging doors leading to the sterile hall behind him. "Try and get him off the floor."

He turned to the frazzled dark haired beauty. "Prentiss, I need you to go check on his dog. It's at the vet with a Middle Eastern kid. Late teens goes by Naseer. A Doctor Vaughn on uh – "

"I know him" She jumped in eager to do something – anything. "He's the same one I take Sergio to."

"What can I do?" JJ's sad blue eyes held his. Even though she'd do whatever he asked he knew she wouldn't want to be far from Reid.

"Stay here. Just keep us all informed."

They scattered eager to get on with their tasks anything to keep their minds off what dawn might bring.

Garcia pushed though the doors letting them swoosh silently closed. It was quiet in this part of the hospital, disturbingly so. Patients brushed past her with dead eyes and white faces dragging metal and plastic meant to give them five more seconds on this earth, if that and the medical staff were not much different with their dismissive stares. In the distance the bleep of machines held court as she wandered down this 'Hotel California' of hospital wings. Clearly death held resided here. She pulled her coat closely around her neck at the sudden chill that went through her. She was being melodramatic. Reid would be fine. He would leave this place alive.

At the first sight of her friend, tears spilled down her face blinding her and she paused wiping at her face. She so rarely had to be the strong one. Morgan had always been a constant in her life, never shaken no matter what. Now he sat at the end of the hallway on the scrubbed clean floor, his head rested on his knees, cell phone pushed far to the left as if that would prevent the bad news from coming. She felt the tears well up again so she stopped and took a deep breath. If he saw her like this he'd fear the worst.

The pet names she usually flung at him had no place here and she settled simply on his name. "Derek?" She whispered when she knelt in front of him. The deep brown eyes that collided with hers were so familiar despite the emptiness that bled them of life. An involuntary gasp tore out of her before she could stop it. Tentatively she placed her hands on his knees pulling them back when he flinched. Powering through the hurt from that one rejection was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. "Please get up. We can wait in the…"

"I am not moving." He snapped.

"Okay" She moved his phone and settled next to him. Close enough to provide some semblance of comfort without making physical contact. Sorrow seeped into her bones through the floor of this deathly hallway.

"Sorry" He muttered.

Garcia turned at the apology. Even with his head once again buried on his knees the next few words were unmistakable and packed with resolve.

"I am not leaving here without him."

And so they stayed together in silence, words superfluous at this point as stealthily, time crept forward.

Worn to the bone the team returned from their given tasks. One by one they convened in the cold gray room. Hotch and Rossi had nothing to report. An examination of the Morgan-Reid household had brought more questions than answers. The brutality of the attack did not have the usual markings of a home invasion gone wrong. Baffled they bounced around theories until JJ came back from the front desk.

"Did you say James Sinclair?" She whispered shocked. "It can't be."

"Who is this guy?"

"James is - was friends with Spencer. They met at a lecture months ago."

"Wait a minute, Reid knew this guy?" Rossi interrupted.

Laboriously she began to explain as Hotch and Rossi leaned forward captivated by the tale of love turned into obsession. The question on their minds was all the same; how come neither of the two agents had seen it coming? But now was not the time for recrimination, the two involved parties would blame themselves or each other soon enough.

Emily returned and the relieved yet tired smile projected a bright spot of happiness. "Clooney's came out of surgery okay." She crashed next to JJ returning her hug. "He's still heavily sedated but Dr. Vaughn says he was lucky. A smaller dog would have suffered much more extensive internal damage."

After the initial celebration they fell to their own troubled thoughts and prayers. Waiting on God's mercy that Reid would also somehow survive the events of the terrible night.

"Any luck?" Hotch pulled Garcia aside when she came out for more news.

"I got him a chair." It was a small victory but after three hours of silence she'd finally managed to get Morgan to accept a comfortable seat. He still clung to the end of the hall. The large window next to him revealing a world that was slowly filling up with light.

"He won't let me touch him." Her green talons ripped through a huge white hankie. A shuddery breath escaped unbidden as she voiced her own fear. "I think he blames me. If I hadn't taken Reid to that party he would have been home locked up tight. None of this would have happened."

"It wasn't your fault." Hotch patted her awkwardly on the back. "From what I've heard, James Sinclair was determined to get to Reid. Nothing would have stopped him. If it wasn't this night it would have been another one."

She nodded not really believing him. Those words would only make a difference if they came from Morgan. "I am going back inside."

"Wait" Hotch called to her. "Tell him Clooney's going to be okay. It might help."

"Really" She squealed flinging herself into her boss's arms. "Thank god! I'm going to go tell him." Before she could race through the doors she spotted a surgeon she was sure was Reid's because after a quick word with a nurse he headed straight for them.

Garcia held her breath through the long 'he's not out the woods yet/ long road to recovery' speech. Nothing could stop the warmth that filled her heart from spilling over into relieved laughter. She wasn't the only one. For the first time that night JJ started to cry resting her head on Rossi's shoulder. It was a brand new day. Against all odds Reid had survived.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Wolfpawn, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Irishgirl9, Maryhell, Kurenaicakes, Jenny crum, Sue1313, Brandy, Guest, Rumtreiberin1993, Pipinheart and Omgnotagain. - Thank you so much for the 'yay they survived'.**

**Gubleronics – You crack me up.**

**Kim – Thank you. Welcome!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 18**

Morgan pulled the wheeled chair closer to the bed. Elbow resting on the white blanket, his fingers traced down the cool pale arm to the still long tapered fingers. The glaring differences between their skin tones had always been complementary in his eyes. But now their connection was a little off, Reid's skin almost translucent with blue veins snaking beneath it was fragile in his. It was hard not to focus on what could have been if he'd been late coming home, if he'd never left… He bowed his head pressing his lips on the dry skin, pleas and prayers spilling out of him.

He'd spent the past few hours alone keeping vigil by Reid's bedside. It was as it should be Reid and him, together, alone.

At his insistence the rest of the team had gone home to shower, change and get a decent meal. He had no doubt that they'd all be back later clamoring for news on Reid's condition but for now whether they admitted it or not they needed to reconnect with their families and give thanks that it had not been them tonight.

By this point Morgan had been awake for almost 24 straight hours. Sheer exhaustion dragged him under and he slid low in his seat his hand still entwined with Reid's. He dozed off jerking awake when a sharp nod cracked his skull on the hard plastic headrest. He jumped to his feet striding to the window to shake off the waves of fatigue.

It was late in the afternoon and the parking lot below was emptying of those lucky enough to be able to go home. Morgan turned scanning the white room; the subtle scent of disinfectant tickled his nostrils. The happy meal Garcia had brought to tempt him still lay untouched on the bedside table. He was sure as soon as the greasy fries touched his lips he would throw up. Several bouquets of hopeful flowers graced every other available surface. Get well soon cards had poured in from the team, the agency and some random unfamiliar names; he'd had no idea that Reid knew so many people.

In comparison Morgan tended to carefully compartmentalize his life; there was the team, his family and his other friends. The only thing those three groups had in common was him. And then one day there was Reid. Reid had slowly and surely become the very center of his world. He was his love, his life, and the way by which he pretty much told time. Morgan found himself thinking more than once during the course of the day, that he would see Reid in 5 hours, or it would take Reid 22 minutes to walk to the store and get back. If he was even a second late Morgan got agitated checking the door and his phone. He never breathed easy until he saw him again all flushed and spewing facts that nobody cared about. But his world restored Morgan would block out the sound and just watch him content in the knowledge that the genius was all his.

Now alone with his sedated partner because he couldn't bear to have anyone else around, he still grappled with his fear. Despite how much he'd insisted, the doctor couldn't put an exact number on how long it would take Reid to open his eyes, how long it might be before he spoke his name, how long before he healed completely so that Morgan could breathe easy once again.

Too long from his lover's side he made his way back to the bed, unconsciously checking for the rise and fall of his chest. Reid was so pale and diminished under the tubes and blankets. Purple bruises covered his face and neck. His right arm was in a cast, thick white bandages covered up most of his torso. Morgan ached at the sight of him he would be in a lot of pain when he woke but at least he was alive. Everything else was just details.

Smoothing out the folds in the bedclothes he sat in the uncomfortable chair once again and picked up the People magazine. It was the only reading material he was able to get from the nurses. They had recommended that he talk to his love but beyond telling Reid over and over that he loved him and demanding than he not die all other words were insignificant.

It was filled with trashy stories and he flipped through the pages trying to find a story that would appeal to Reid. 'A Monroe Thriller' the enduring mystery of Marilyn Monroe's death was the only crime related article so he began to read aloud.

It hurt the first time Reid opened his eyes. Even at half-mast the white light filling the room blinded him. The rumbling sound that woke him was comforting and he blinked trying to find the source. Unfortunately the brief return to darkness tossed him into a light doze and he reopened his eyes several minutes later. The heavy weight settling on his lower thigh sent tingles down his leg. He smiled, the effort pulling at the cracks in his dry lips. Morgan lay fast asleep with his head on Reid's lap. He would recognize that snore anywhere.

Groggy from the anesthesia he tried to call Morgan's name but the sound wouldn't come, choosing to use his hand instead he tried to move it but failed the cast was too heavy to lift. Held loosely in Morgan's warm palm he turned his hand only succeeding in jerking his ring finger. Skin collided with skin but Morgan just snorted and slept on. Dammit! With the last of his strength Reid wrenched free of his grip, finally making an impact.

Morgan sat up rubbing at his face. The magazine he'd been reading lay face down on the floor and he went to pick it up checking on Reid. Still breathing –check. Still asleep – wait. His eyes were definitely open Morgan popped up leaning over him praying he wasn't dreaming.

"Reid?" The genius blinked smiling faintly at him. Morgan wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry he didn't seem to have a choice because he was doing both with his next breath. "Hi" He whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"M' head hurts." Speaking through dry parchment Reid tried to swallow. The intubation tube had done some damage his throat felt raw and scratchy. He panicked when Morgan leaned away, trying to hold on to him but he could barely move, his uncooperative body was currently its own master.

"I'm just getting you some ice chips." Morgan reassured him. He picked up the white plastic cup and stared at the contents perplexed. "It all melted. Are you supposed to be drinking anything?" Like he always did with all things intellectual he looked to Reid for answers. "Sorry I should know that. I got instructions from the doc but I – I forgot what he said. Let me go get a nurse."

Reid tightened his grip on Morgan's pinky. At the slight tug Morgan swiveled round and bent over burying his face in Reid's hair, shudders racking his body.

Twinges of pain racked Reid's chest probably from pulled stitches but he held onto his boyfriend. A lone tear snaked through his hair down the back of his neck diving off into his pillow.

"I'm sorry." He patted as much of Morgan that he could reach.

"Baby, I love you. I love you so much. Nothing else matters." Morgan's soft lips brushed his forehead and Reid tried to cling to him as he got up. "I need the doctors okay."

"It's alright." Reid rasped.

"I mean the real doctor." Morgan corrected. He wasn't taking any chances with Reid's health. If Reid hadn't been so tired he would have had something to say about that dig but his lids were getting heavier. There was something he meant to ask him. Clooney. But he'd used up the last of his strength and closing his eyes again he decided to delay possible bad news for when he was stronger.

"You stay. Okay?" Morgan peppered his forehead with kisses. "I'll be right back."


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Cacmilis, Wolfpawn, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Irishgirl9, Maryhell, Kurenaicakes, Jenny crum, Medeia456, Sue1313, Guest, Elephantluva, Pipinheart and Omgnotagain. - Thank you.**

**Spence, Corinne and Criminds – Thank you so much for reviewing. Welcome!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 19**

Reid roused from deep slumber. Night had fallen at some point and disoriented he tried to roll over but his torso was held rigid by the many bandages.

"Hey!" Reid blinked at the feminine lilt, focusing on JJ who was sitting where Morgan had been hours before. Usually impeccably groomed JJ was a mess with a blue kerchief in her hair and old ratty overalls. "How do you feel?" She asked.

"Awful." He cleared his throat. "Like a pincushion."

"You were a lucky pincushion." She lectured. "I would hit you if there was any un-bruised part of you left to hit.

Reid let her help him sit up. "I am sorry."

"You should be sorry." She snapped at him plumping the part of the pillows he wasn't leaning on. "You scared the hell out of me, out of all of us." Humbled, he recognized her anger and nervous movements as fear. "You don't get to leave me behind to mop up blood, your blood."

That explained the outfit. She cleaned the house. "You didn't have to."

"Yes I did. It had to be me. I had to do something." She sighed helplessly, refilling his water glass. "It beat sitting around waiting for the phone to ring." Reid craned his neck taking the straw she offered between his dry lips sipping slowly.

"You scared me." She repeated when he lay back down, his neck too frail to hold his head up for long.

"I know." He mumbled.

"Even though it doesn't sound like it, I'm so happy you're okay." Reid felt the corners of his lips lift. If he waited long enough she'd hit her full mother hen stride. "I will yell at you later."

There it was. "Okay"

"There's a cat in our house." Reid segued after a long silence.

"I didn't see a cat."

"Jam-He gave me a um - cat." JJ stopped her needless straightening up sitting beside him once again. "I know I'm being completely irrational but I don't care. The thought of it in there somewhere, among our things... Get rid of it."

"Calm down." She rubbed his arm. "I'll find it okay?"

He nodded but referencing the attack had made him uneasy. "Where's Morgan?"

"He's talking to Hotch right outside. Speaking of Morgan," JJ pulled the chair back closer to his bed leaning in conspiratorially. "Can you get him to lie down? Eat? He won't listen to the rest of us and at this point he must be running on empty."

"I'll send for a cot." She added softly when Morgan came back in. "I'll leave you two alone."

Reid barely noticed her departure. He focused on his boyfriend. Even exhausted with red-rimmed eyes and slouched shoulders he'd never look anything but completely amazing to Reid. He raised his left had and gestured for him to come closer. Morgan sat on the bed next to him taking his hand in his.

"I am sorry." He said gripping Morgan's hand tighter when he pulled back.

"Stop apologizing."

"I should have listened to you, to JJ…How's Clooney? He rushed, words tumbling out one over the other. "Is he…?"

"He's okay."

"Really?" Reid's eyes filled with tears like his entire being with relief. The news liberated him from overwhelming guilt and fear. If Clooney had died Morgan would never have forgiven him, he would say he had but Reid would never know for sure. "Are you sure? He was hurt pretty bad."

"This will help." Morgan said whipping out his phone. The shaky video Prentiss had shot showed Clooney post surgery obviously weak but still alive. Thank God the strong willed beast was too stubborn to die.

Reid glanced up from the flashing screen grinning at Morgan through the tears. "Lie down with me?" He asked tugging at his wrist.

"You need to rest."

"I need you" He insisted. "Please?"

Unable to resist him Morgan got up lying on a minute sliver of mattress space careful not to bump him. Reid pulled him closer until he fit against his side.

"You smell nice" Reid commented nuzzling into his shoulder. "Like jasmine?"

"There was a nurse." Morgan replied.

It was a measure of how much they'd grown as a couple that Reid was unfazed by the thought of nurses and waitresses and weird chicks in the club who were always bending over backward to do things for his boyfriend. He knew without asking that Morgan didn't want to leave him alone in this cold place. The woman was a mere means to an end.

Awkward as it was he raised his left hand and stroked Morgan's face. "Close your eyes."

"Can't sleep here." Morgan protested closing his eyes anyway. Reid stayed quiet and watched him, overflowing with love and contentment. He kept the video file on repeat alternating between watching it and watching his love sleep. If he was dead then this was paradise. He couldn't wait to spend a lifetime by Morgan's side.

A few days later he just wanted to kill Morgan and his Zen like patience, which wouldn't let him, leave Reid's side no matter how irritable he got. Being physically incapacitated was frustrating and humiliating for Reid. It started with the removal of the catheter by the heavy-handed nurse and continued with the indignity of being probed by what felt like a million strangers everyday. It made him resentful and cranky.

"I want to go home." Reid said petulantly as the door swung shut behind the group of residents that were doing rounds.

"Not until the doctor discharges you."

"I'm bored and itchy." He whined digging a forefinger under his cast trying to reach the uncomfortable tingling below his wrist bone. He would be a better mood if they would let him at least go to the bathroom by himself. He shuddered at the memory of the sponge bath and after the first humiliating encounter with the pretty wide-eyed nurse refused to repeat the experience. Morgan had taken over after that making it both better and worse.

"Thank you." He grumbled taking the straw Morgan handed him slipping the bendy end under the hard plaster.

The visits from the team had taken some of the edge off but they were called out for a case so it was just the two of them. No matter how much he pouted and postured Morgan was strict about him following the doctor's orders.

"Bloody jailor." He muttered darkly.

Morgan laughed when heard had him. "You are staying put even if I have to tie you down."

"Fine" Reid tossed the straw at him.

Close to two week later, he was ecstatic in the front seat of Morgan's car. The doctor had discharged him with a long list of instructions and medication but Reid didn't care he was finally going home. The sunlight on his face and fresh air was all the inspiration he needed to get well. When the car stopped in their yard Morgan prevented him from getting out.

"I'm not getting into that chair." He protested referring to the wheelchair Morgan had weaseled out of yet another nurse. The man had no shame.

"Then let me carry you."

"No. I can manage." Reid shooed him.

Morgan slipped the key into the lock checking to make sure Reid was behind him as he swung the door open. For a second he smelled that same sick cloying scent before it was overtaken by fresh pine. The floor was spotless apart from the gaping spaces where the broken and stained furniture had been removed it was still home. Larger, emptier and now brimming with the ghost of a dead man who he could imagine sat grinning on the cordoned off bannister above. He didn't want to stay here and Reid shouldn't have to.

"What's wrong?" Reid hobbled up behind him.

Morgan turned blocking his path. "We don't have to stay here. We can go to a hotel."

Reid's face fell. "I want to stay. It's our home."

"Baby, you almost died here.

"I survived here." Reid winced resting on the wall to take pressure off his foot. Maybe he should have taken Morgan up on his offer to carry him as undignified as it would have been. "When I sit at our kitchen table and lie in our bed, all I'll think about is that I survived. You gave me a home. This is our home I won't let him take it away from me."

"Okay" Morgan agreed hugging him. Reid leaned on him, squawking when Morgan swept him into his arms.

"I can walk." He protested even as he groaned in relief and snuggled in.

"Just until the couch."

"Okay" Reid's limbs thanked him for the reprieve. Pride had its place but after fighting so hard to reestablish his independence he now wanted to be babied for a while.

When Morgan placed him on the couch, he scooted back making room for him on the comfy cushions. A sharp hoot blasted through the afternoon.

"That's Kevin with Clooney." Morgan patted his shoulder. "I'll be right back."

The Yellow Labrador was coming up the pathway at half his usual speed his head hanging under the weight of the extra large white plastic cone attached around his neck. Kevin hesitantly trailed behind him. Morgan left the door wide-open and when he met him the large dog perked up a little. Slowly dancing around Morgan's feet until he crouched and rubbed him behind the ear. Clooney kept banging the cone of shame into Morgan' arm pleading with his liquid doggy eyes.

"I'm not taking it off." Morgan scolded. Clooney withdrew his affections darting past Morgan into the house probably to beg Reid to get it off.

"He kept slamming it into my shins." Kevin gave him a nervous smile.

"I have the softer ProCollar." Morgan got to his feet. "He's a lot easier to handle in it."

"How is Reid?"

"Good. He's good." Morgan shook his hand and said goodbye.

True to form he found Reid attempting to pull off the large cone. "Don't remove it until I get the other one. You'll strain yourself and we had a deal. Reid!"

Reid dropped the cone lying back down at the commanding tone.

"I'll get you some tea." Morgan left them in the Living Room preparing the tea as quickly as he could. He could barely breathe having him out of sight.

"Reid?" He called. "Lemon or Honey?" In the pause all he could here was the echo of his own voice. "Reid?"

Blood pumping he dropped the cups and rushed back at the sound of a crash from the Living Room only to find Reid curled up on the couch fast asleep; the remote had fallen from his hand causing the crash. Despite all Reid's reassurances, the ride from the hospital had obviously exhausted him. Clooney had squeezed between the slack body and the armrest; he cocked his head at Morgan shot him a doggy glare and settled back with his shielded snout on Reid's feet.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Cacmilis, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Irishgirl9, Kurenaicakes, Jenny crum, Sue1313 and Combatcrazy. – Love you guys.**

**Mixed Beauty – Thank you so much for reviewing. Welcome!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 20**

There is a thin line between waking and dreaming. The moments when you jerk awake unsure what is real; the world that you left behind or the world to which you just returned. This was state in which Morgan found himself. Night after night, he was yanked from the darkest recesses of sleep frozen with fear, a cold sweat coating his bare chest. For a fragment of a second he would lie there straining to hear the rustle of bed sheets, a snuffle, ragged breathing, any sign of life too afraid to turn and check, afraid that Reid wouldn't be there.

Then came the pain as he took a breath, air tearing through his lungs at the sight of the slight lump of his lover's body. With the duvet pulled up to his nose all that peeked out of Reid was a messy mop of hair. He was such a deep silent sleeper more so since his hospital stay the slightest activity exhausted him.

Morgan would turn to his side, running his hand lightly through Reid's curls, the movement difficult because of the heavy weight draped across his feet. Clooney had taken to sleeping at the foot of their bed.

The three of them remained inn the master bedroom, isolated from the rest of the world, the light from Reid's bedside lamp holding off the dark. Still Morgan would force himself to leave their cocoon. He would wander the house checking and rechecking every window and door, making sure the latches were fastened and the alarm system was functional and set. As Clooney got better, he began to follow Morgan on his nocturnal travels both of them in an endless quest to protect the man upstairs. Drained, Morgan would fall into bed hours later and Clooney would go back to his spot at their feet.

xxXxx

Reid raced down the stairs careful not to bump his right arm on the railing. He felt like a kid on the first day of school. Not a regular kid who whined about summer being over but more like him, you know, when he was a kid. His genius brain's ability to absorb information had been severely compromised over the holidays much as his mother taught him it had never been enough. Over the past weeks he felt increasingly like that, it was torture being banned from the BAU even as Morgan worked from home as much as he could.

Finding Morgan in the kitchen preparing him a huge breakfast, Reid groaned at the heaped plate. Even at optimum health he was never able to eat that much, in one seating and not a single cup of coffee was in sight. That was another reason he was so excited to get back to work. Morgan couldn't watch him every second and he could sneak a few cups of Joe and several sacks of sugar.

"Morning"

"Good Morning" Reid replied leaning into Morgan for his kiss. He grinned as lips grazed his forehead. "I'm going to work with you today."

"Are you sure you're better?"

"I am." Reid practically yelled. He couldn't spend one more day on the couch with Clooney. Hell, even the dog got to go outside unsupervised. All he had to look forward to was grueling sessions of physiotherapy.

Reid knew Morgan wasn't as excited about his return to work. In fact these days his lover was unusually quiet and several times Reid caught him staring at him with an odd expression on his face. He tried not to worry about it but so much about them didn't feel the same anymore and he was hoping getting back to their old routine would fix whatever was broken or breaking between them. Either way he was tired of being held hostage by the niggling doubt at the back of his mind.

"You don't have to worry about me so much. I am fine." Reid comforted.

He wished he could open up and ask him what was wrong but he didn't have the effortless way Morgan had of making him talk about his feelings with a little prodding. Instead he lurched forward wrapping his hands tightly around Morgan's waist burying his face in his neck. The strong arms closed around him and they swayed together holding on until their hearts beat in sync. "I love you." Reid breathed on his skin.

"I love you too."

The interminable embrace might have gone on forever had Clooney not nosed Reid's thigh trying to lead him towards his food bowl. Another unexpected side effect of that night was how often Clooney sought him out, for attention, affection, treats. The large dog constantly followed him around and except for a patch on his belly where the fur had refused to grow back he was back to his boisterous self.

"Na, uh!" Morgan pushed Reid towards his plate. "Eat," He ordered leading Clooney away.

Reid stared after them letting his face slip. He had spent a long time exploring the nature of fear and its essential irrationalities. Of all the heart stopping terrifying moments of his life; his fathers abandonment, schizophrenia, Hankel, dilaudid, crazy unsubs and finally facing down James and his own mortality again. Nothing eclipsed the palm sweating, blood racing, and empty feeling in his gut at the mre thought that he might lose the love of his life.

His numerous worries were ridiculous in the face of the unconditional loving care Morgan had shown him over the past two months. With Morgan home all the time he had several opportunities to bring it up but was afraid. If he claimed something was wrong and Morgan didn't, it would be out there between them making things weirder. Then maybe Morgan would start to think he wasn't happy either and it would all be down hill from there. Reid had to fix them somehow with actions rather than words.

Hearing Clooney's claws scrapping on the floor, Reid began to shovel food into his mouth. He had to get better faster so he could go back to proving to Morgan that they were perfect for each other. James was just a hiccup in their lives, albeit a insane hiccup.

xxXxx

Reid started when Morgan grabbed his hand outside the bullpen, his eyes were unreadable behind the dark glasses. "Tell me you will remain in the building?" Morgan phrased it as a question but Reid knew a demand when he heard one. "No going out into the field, no matter what."

"I promise." Reid surreptitiously squeezed his hand before taking off to look for his sounding board. He burst into JJ's office catching her making kissy faces at her laptop. At the abrupt intrusion she slammed it shut springing to her feet before she saw him.

"Oh my god." She laughed faintly, hand on her heaving chest. "I thought you were Hotch."

Reid shuffled forward returning her hug. "Was that Henry?" He asked.

"No, Henry's dad." Her blue eyes sparkled at him as she stroked her long blond ponytail dreamily. "Anyway, how are you?" She shook off her smile and sat on the mini bright blue two-seater couch that took up space in her office. It was really a loveseat and had no place in this austere building but she claimed every time she sat in it, it reminded her there was still good in the world. It was probably because she sat there daydreaming about her family. Speaking of family…

"Morgan and I aren't having sex." Reid blurted out.

JJ's mouth dropped open comically and Reid winced wishing he had phrased it better; less blunt would definitely have been best. Oh well. Luckily JJ was used to the disconnect between his mouth and brain and she just moved over as he sat beside her.

"What does that mean? You two have been… you know." JJ rolled her eyes at him before bumping her fists together. "I'm pretty sure that your head board was creaking pretty hard when we were out on the Jeremiah case."

"YES! We were before." Reid hissed red-faced. "We have not-" He imitated the same fist motion. "-Since I got home from the hospital."

"Spence, you just survived a horrific attack." She rationalized.

"Almost three months ago." Reid interrupted.

"And all you want to do is have sex." Chuckling, JJ spun on the mini couch, kicking off her heels and folding her feet under her. "I have seen you act so - male."

What did that mean? "I have functional genitalia." Reid bristled. "If I wanted to get mocked, I could have gone to Garcia."

JJ straightened up at his tone. "Hey, this is easily fixable. If you want to jumpstart your sex life, just go seduce him. He can't keep his eyes off you as it is."

"It's not that simple"

"Why not?"

"I've just never had to…" He lowered his voice and whispered. "…initiate. And I –uh have other issues."

Reid chewed on his bottom lip debating whether to tell her but the doubt and insecurity was eating him alive. He was not close enough to anyone else to confide in, there was only her. Getting up he closed and locked her office door and pulled off his jacket.

"Easy, sweetie!" JJ protested when he removed his tie and began to unbutton his shirt. "I didn't think you were this desperate."

Reid's trembling hands stilled on the last button the look on his face impressing on her the gravity of this act. "Be honest with me." He said pulling the edges of the white shirt apart to expose his pale skinny chest and abdomen. "How bad is it?"

A slightly raised scar from the surgery split his chest in half. Reddened edges and slight pockmarks from the pulled stitches marred the porcelain skin. JJ stared at his chest too long and Reid pulled the shirt closed folding his arms over his torso as if that would make the scars disappear. "I'm not 'Pretty Boy' anymore. May that's why he doesn't want me."

"Spencer," She tugged on his arm until he sat down again. "Morgan loves you. Every time I think of how broken he was at the hospital I just want to cry." She cleared her throat blinking rapidly. "Besides no one has a perfect body. I have a scar from the C-section and Will could not care less.

"I wasn't exactly growing a human being and Morgan does have a perfect body. I have seen it up-close and personal. It is so very perfect."

"Yeah well, you know what? He didn't choose somebody built like him. He chose you. Now stop being a complete chicken and go get your man."

Fired up by her talk, Reid felt a surge of confidence. His boyfriend was many things but he was not superficial. He would go talk to Morgan, seduce him then they'd make love, possibly on his desk. He buttoned up on his way out and it wasn't until he got half way across the bullpen that he screeched to a halt.

Reid exploded through JJ's door again. "H-How?" He stuttered at her raised brow. "How exactly do I seduce him?"

"You know him better. I don't know, you could maybe dance for him" Waggling her eyes JJ demonstrated. "Do a sexy little strip tease. Flip your hair – it's such a shame you cut it by the way."

"The first and only time Morgan saw me dance he laughed so hard beer shot out of his nose. In between all the snorting he called me a baby giraffe on stilts…that was just learning to ice-skate."

Reid glanced up at JJ's short laugh. "Sorry." She swallowed back giggles. "I have seen you dance and that was an apt description."

"Ha-ha!" Reid said sarcastically while he glowered at her. He then tapped his right arm. Out of its cast less than two weeks ago it was still tender. "I still don't have a full range of movement on this so the less 'flailing' I engage in the better."

"Fine then come over Saturday. We can go shopping and hatch a plan, which will not involve dancing. That is if you can wait that long?"

"Ok." Reid remembered the last time he'd spent the weekend at her home. Will had taken Henry to visit his parents and their visit had devolved into a girly sleepover complete with makeovers. Sometimes he worried that since she found out he was gay she thought of him as less of a child and more of a girl. "But no more putting goo on my face."

**AN: I don't know how JJ had Henry whether it was a natural birth or whatever. I saw the episode where she went into labor but it wasn't made clear.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thank you my lovely, lovely reviewers. – Wolfpawn, Nannily, IdontdanceIgrind, Guest, Combatcrazy, Elephantluva, Medeia456, Kurenaicakes and Sue1313. **

**Mookfree07 and Blue4summer – Thank you so much for reviewing. Welcome!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 21**

Morgan adjusted the thick strap of his gym bag over his shoulder as he strolled out of the training center. Stretching out his arm and rotating it, he winced at the twinges of pain pulling at his deltoid muscles. It was just after 7 on a Saturday night and dark shadows stretched across hard tarmac, the only sound in the empty lot were his footsteps. Ordinarily he would have been home hours ago but Reid was spending the day with JJ and wouldn't be back until late and the thought of being alone in the house had driven him harder and longer than usual. Working the machines until his muscles screamed in pain, he had pushed the recruits even harder. They'd left sweating and swearing, so mad at him that he wouldn't be surprised if they ambushed him in the parking lot. Tucking his hands into his pockets Morgan hunched his shoulders against the cold jogging to his truck.

Searching for the keys Morgan stepped up to his ride just as a shadow detached from a low-slung car. "Hey" Morgan recoiled at the loud shout automatically reaching for his gun.

"Calm down, man. It's me." Max popped out of the dark with his hands outstretched.

"You know better that to sneak up on me." Morgan yelled at his old friend. "I could have shot your fool head off."

"It is good to see you too, bro."

Morgan holstered his weapon. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in town," Max shrugged. "Figured I'd surprise you. I didn't expect you to try and kill me."

"Are you in trouble?"

"Why do you always assume I'm in trouble?" The dark haired man huffed in indignation.

"Because I know you." Morgan smiled walking past him and dumping his bag in the back seat.

"College has been over a long time, Mr. FBI. I don't need you to save me from the local pot dealers."

"You mean I don't need to save _them_ from _you_?"

"Semantics" Max dismissed. He flicked invisible thread off his grey wool coat. "Anyway, as long as I was in town I thought we could grab some dinner, get a drink…chat."

Morgan leaned on the side of his truck and watched him. In the four years they had roomed together at college he'd gotten to know Max pretty well, every spoilt, entitled, manipulative part of him and he wasn't an 'I was just in the neighborhood kind of guy'.

"What do you really want?"

"Dude, I'm freezing my ass off. Can you stop questioning my motives?" Morgan folded his arms and waited. "Fine. I thought I'd meet your boy. You know 'The ol' ball and chain'? You talked about him like he mattered so I would like to meet him – before I turn into an icicle."

Morgan laughed at his gross exaggeration. That was Max and his disturbing ability to make everything about him.

"Reid's with a friend."

Max's sigh of relief was drawn out and heartfelt. "I get points for trying though. Right?" His palm slammed into Morgan's shoulder before he tripped over to his Ferrari. "Hey, can we still get drink or something? I'm dying here."

Morgan's simply shook his head at his delight. "Sure." Even as he was happy to have an excuse to stay out of his house for just a little longer, he dragged his feet. He couldn't forget the one night they'd celebrated the end of finals so hard they'd woken up together, hangover, naked. After the initial shock of having sex with his best friend - a man - had worn off, all Morgan had wanted was to do it again and again. They hadn't talked about it the morning after or all the deliberately drunken nights that ended with them entwined together. In fact Max had been the closest thing Morgan had ever had to a homosexual relationship before Reid and he felt bad because they had not been as close since he and Reid had gotten together.

Flicking to the rearview mirror to make sure Max was still following him, Morgan dialed Reid's cell. It buzzed for a while then went to voicemail. "Hey, uh Reid. I'll be at The Host downtown incase you need anything, anything at all." Morgan paused swallowing words of caution. While it was getting harder for him to let Reid out of sight, he had to let him go and not treat him like a kid. "I love you." He added. "Have fun at your thing and I will see you later."

Morgan slipped the phone back into his pocket. Reid would call if he needed to or if anything went wrong. Besides he was with JJ and she could certainly kick ass.

xxXxx

Reid shuffled uneasily on the barstool, scanning the rapidly filling bar with apprehension. He'd dawdled as much as possible before he made it to The Host but somehow he'd managed to beat Morgan there. Never comfortable in clubs he wanted to flee, get home, put on his jammies and curl up in bed with Clooney.

Of all the ideas JJ had had and they had been several, the 'pretend meeting for the first time' seemed like the easiest to pull off. All he had to do was wait for Morgan to come in, saunter over with some semblance of confidence and pick him up. He rubbed his sweaty palms together and practiced his line. "I think there's something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off of you." It was ridiculously cheesy but JJ claimed that was the point. Morgan would laugh when he heard it, which would break the tension. Alcohol would do the rest.

Reid could feel the bartender's eyes boring into him as he fidgeted and squirmed trying to find an angle at which the tight denim was not cutting into his nether regions. The insanely tight jeans with the leather sides had been just as insanely priced but JJ had insisted on them. The things she said about how his butt looked in them just made him blush sending his temperature skyrocketing in the overcrowded club.

"This damn well better work." He muttered tugging at the collar of the slim fit designer shirt.

Needing to do something with his hands, Reid pushed the bowl of beer nuts that was at his elbow further away. He involuntarily made a face when one of the patrons dipped his hand into it and tossed the nuts into his mouth. He suppressed the lecture bubbling out of him about the spread of disease. That bowl contained enough urine and feces from unwashed hands to start their own outbreak. Eating from it was the dumb man's equivalent of licking a keyboard.

Surprised, Reid looked up when a fruity drink in a tall glass was placed in front of him. "I didn't order that." He told the grinning bartender.

"Compliments from the guy over there." Reid followed his finger to the burly guy in the corner who gave him a sly wink.

Shuddering delicately Reid pushed the pink frothy drink back. "Tell him I said thank you but I'm not interested. I'm waiting for my boyfriend."

"Well you should call him." The bartender leaned over so Reid could hear him better. "Or maybe we should move you to a table in the back before the sharks start to gather?"

"Sharks?" Reid asked looking around. He caught several eyes on him; some of the strangers had the decency to lower their gazes, others just leered back. Reid spun around uncomfortable with the scrutiny. Where the hell was Morgan? He checked his phone it was way past nine.

"I can take care of myself." He insisted. "Derek doesn't know I'm here, I just wanted to surprise him." He explained himself needlessly not wanting even a perfect stranger to think that Morgan was anything other than a great boyfriend.

"Let me guess. You trying to put the spark back in your relationship."

Reid wanted to deny it except that is exactly what he was trying to do. "Yes" He deflated.

The man leaned back wiping a glass in quick motions. "My Simon and I tried that."

"Did it work?"

"Up to the point when he wanted to bring another guy home with us. It was fun the first night but then he wanted to do it again and again. Now he's my ex, Simon."

Reid frowned. Morgan did have a lot more experience than he did but he had never made him feel inadequate in any way. Chewing on his bottom lip he tried not to add more worries to the already existing ones. _Stop thinking_. _Bartender's Simon is not Morgan._ Drumming his fingers on the hard wood he checked the room again, he was about to cave and just call Morgan to come pick him up. Instead he ordered for a drink. Some tequila, enough to calm his nerves but not too much to impair his judgment.

Two shots and a half hour later he'd calmed enough to be having a decent enough time. Ben the bartender was a fun guy and a fountain of information when it came to relationships. He'd pointed out most of the customers, telling Reid embarrassing personal stories about them that left him in stitches.

When he was serving a customer, Reid took his advice and kept his eyes on the countertop. He claimed most men wouldn't come over without the encouragement of eye contact. Tracing his finger through a ring of melted ice, Reid wondered whether he should leave. Morgan hadn't showed and Ben was really busy serving the crowd of drunken revelers at the other end of the bar.

Hey, Sweet thing!"

Dragged from his musings, Reid found the burly man who'd sent the drink earlier plopped by his side. Apparently he was one of the persistent ones. Luckily despite his massively built upper body, the man oozed more alcoholic fumes than menace.

It was definitely time to go. His mind made up, Reid tried to stand up but a large paw dropped onto his thigh squeezing suggestively.

"Where you going?"

Reid leaned back as the man leaned in squinting at him.

"Damn, you're pretty." He slurred.

Reid peered over the wide shoulders to check on Ben who'd vanished in the back room. No help was coming from that front. Getting up off his stool, Reid twisted round and found himself trapped between the man's fleshy thighs. "I'm going to go." He said wriggling past the solid immovable body, which was plastered to his with every movement he made.

The man had hands like a lovesick octopus, Reid thought as he removed yet another of his endless hands which was cupping his butt. With one final twist Reid stumbled to the other side wanting to yell in triumph when he succeeded in escaping from his embrace. The hard body he'd slammed into grew hands that grabbed onto his shoulders. Reid looked up to apologize and froze.

"Derek" He uttered. The pickup line he'd memorized fizzing into irretrievable smoke at the look on his boyfriend's face.

"Who are you?" Drunk and disorderly intervened.

"He's mine." Morgan bit out not taking his eyes off Reid's red face.

"I'm sorry, Sweet thing, didn't know you were taken." The big man whispered before disappearing into the crowd with surprising agility.

"Yeah! Start talking, 'sweet thing'." Morgan barked. "What the hell are you doing here? You already escaped one psycho this year now you're out here looking for another one."

Reid rubbed the back of his neck, his explanations tripping out under the probing stare of the tall stranger standing right behind Morgan. The 'sharks' who'd been chattering and flirting all night long had also fallen silent probably expecting a show that they could relay to their buddies in gleeful detail.

"You miss James? Is that it? You had to rush out and get another bit on the side?" Cut to the quick by his chilly tone and baseless accusations, Reid stumbled back. It was the first time either of them had mentioned James since the argument over the kiss that almost broke them up.

"Just go get in the car." Morgan ordered.

Reid hurried out of the bar keeping his head down to avoid the sympathetic and malicious looks sent his way. Despite the heavy tears welling in his eyes he was furious. This always happened when they argued. Morgan fought dirty and Reid was so paralyzed with fear that he'd say the wrong thing and they'd break up so he just kept quiet. Once outside the cold air whistled through his lungs and he wrapped his arms around his chest. He'd forgotten his coat inside and Morgan still had the keys. He contemplated getting a cab home but there were none in sight and he knew better than to take a ride with a stranger so he stood by the truck and waited, seething.

Morgan finally came out and Reid avoided his gaze. Getting into the passenger seat he fastened his seatbelt raising his cold hands to the air vents.

"Baby?"

Reid turned on the radio turning up the dial filling the cab with enough angry loud music to drown Morgan out. The ride home was taken in bitter silence and obnoxious rap. Reid could feel Morgan's eyes on him but he resolutely looked away. After being scolded and sent to the car like a child, he was not in a forgiving mood.

Morgan remained in the truck as Reid slammed the door, stomped out of the garage and into the house. He attempted to breathe through the chokehold of jealousy and rage he'd felt since he'd walked into the bar and seen his partner with that bear's hands all over him. All he could think was that Reid had lied to him about where he was and how long it had possibly been going on. His 'friendship' with James might not have been an aberration after all. How many other 'friends' did he have?

Morgan sent the car rocking when he slammed his own door and followed Reid into the house just in time to catch his tight little butt disappearing up the stairs. He'd never seen his boy in clothes that tight before maybe he was meeting someone else. Taking the stairs two at a time, Morgan chased after him. Twisting the handle of their bedroom door, Morgan found it was closed and locked. He tried it again in disbelief, they never slept apart, and the one night they'd tried, all hell had broken loose.

"Reid, open the door." He yelled.

The door slipped open to a crack large enough for Clooney to streak through just as the fluffy pillow hit him in the face. Then it closed.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Hi, you guys. I'm so sorry work is so crazy right now. I will admit it, I hate my job and frequently wish I was born a Gates but them's the breaks and my landlord really likes his rent soooo right now it's just my creativity that's suffering from my stress and frustration.**

**Thank you for reviewing and being patient with me. I love that you loved the last chapter – Combatcrazy, Maryhell, Irishgirl9, Jenny crum, Nannily, Evyxxchan, Kurenai cakes, Elephantluva Idontdanceigrind, Wolfpawn, Rayne Mckenna and Guest. **

**Alycone-blk – Thank you so much for reviewing. Welcome!**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 22**

Morgan rolled onto his back to avoid the repetitive nudging at his spine. He came awake slowly throwing his arm over his face as he unbent his legs, which protested as he straightened them out until they hang over the edge of the couch. Turning he came face to muzzle with a panting Clooney who licked a stripe up the side of his face.

"Ah! You Judas!" He groaned shoving the enthusiastic dog away. "I hope you slept real good on my bed." Clooney backed away before settling on his haunches and fixing liquid brown eyes on him, a piteous cry accompanying the sad look.

"I know you're playing me." Morgan said as he sat up slowly, wincing at the sharp pain that stabbed his lower back. He was definitely too old to be sleeping on a couch. Reaching for the remote he turned off the TV, the chirpy voice of the morning news anchor grating in its good cheer. Rubbing at the stubble on his face he got up and stretched focusing on Clooney who had now laid his head on his paws looking impossibly desolate. "Fine. I forgive you."

Clooney sprang up darting forward for a pat on the head before trotting out of the den. He paused in the doorway tossing his head as if urging Morgan to hurry up. Dragging his feet, Morgan followed the eager dog to the kitchen getting him fed and opening the back door on autopilot. There was complete silence from upstairs and he wondered whether Reid was still in bed and as much as he wanted to go to him, he was also still mad especially after being banished from their bedroom. His back pinging in remembered pain, Morgan chose to use the downstairs bathroom rather than face Reid.

Twenty minutes later, he exited the steaming room ducking and bobbing with all the finesse of a fledgling spy on his first mission. Antics that it turned out were all for naught because it didn't take even five seconds for him to realize that Reid hadn't yet come down. The blistering hot shower must have knocked some sense into him, his back felt great, the residual anger he'd had had melted away and he was just hungry for his love's presence. The wrinkled clothes he pulled out of the dryer were tugged on with haste as with his mind made up he headed up the stairs.

"Come on, boy." He snapped his fingers for Clooney. "Maybe if you are around, daddy and daddy won't fight."

Relieved to find their door slightly ajar, he pushed it open. Reid stood with his bare back toward him; only the slight tensing of his shoulders indicated that he had heard Morgan come in.

"Reid?" He called stepping into the room when his lover didn't respond. He was obviously still pissed. "Baby?"

At the sound of Morgan's voice, Reid glanced with panic at his exposed chest; the network of scars was stunningly vivid in the bright light. Edging side ways he picked up last night's ridiculously tight shirt and pulled to on. He made sure he was fully covered, buttoned up to the neck despite the sudden tremor in his hands, before he turned around.

The bravado he was trying to project fell away when he caught Morgan staring at him or rather at his shirt his face distorted with rage. Reid folded his arms across his chest and took a step back before he remembered that he'd promised to face their problems head on no matter how scared he was. "You are mad at me." He said referring to Morgan's venomous attack at the club. "You should just admit it so we can move on."

"Don't…" Morgan snapped pacing. The effort he took not to yell visible in the brusque tone in his voice. "Do NOT tell me how I feel."

Reid fingered the hem of the tight shirt waiting for the inevitable explosion.

"Why were you there?" Morgan snarled turning around. "You said you were at JJ's and I believed you."

The implication that he was being unfaithful or deceptive in any way riled Reid up. "I'm not stupid." He yelled coming apart. "Only a stupid man would try to meet another man in the same club his boyfriend said he would be at." Chest heaving he waited for apology or retaliation, his mouth dropping open as Morgan stormed out instead.

Reid had no idea how long he stood there staring at the empty space in shock. "Morgan" He mouthed before chasing after him with dread. He'd left. Reid had raised his voice and he'd left. His burst of speed left him reeling as he came to an abrupt stop at the top of the stairs just in time to catch Morgan collapse at the foot of them his face buried in his hands.

Reid held onto the wooden railing for support not entirely sure that his legs would hold him up as he descended. Sinking onto the step just above Morgan, he wrapped his arms around his knees his feelings chaotic. The primary of which was fear. Like once again his fate was being determined on this damn staircase. Despite the re-carpeting and painting and every replaced baluster it felt like James' ghost still lingered between them growing larger and darker bent on destruction. With a dramatic shiver he shifted closer to Morgan. "I didn't mean to yell or tell you how you feel. Morgan I –" He bit down on his bottom lip. " – I am not good at this. You have to tell me what's wrong. I could make an educated guess based on our past interactions…" He run out of steam squirming at the look Morgan finally threw him.

"You are what's wrong with me." Morgan ground out. "You walking around like nothing happened? You wanting me to act like everything's okay, like you didn't just almost die on that floor and take me with you?" Morgan gestured at the spot where he'd found Reid broken and bleeding. " That is what is wrong with me."

The emotional tangent threw Reid and he lifted his hand to make contact instead his hand hovered over the large man's cold shoulder unable to provide the comfort he so wanted to give. Instead he spoke "I am sorry I scared you."

"Scared me?" Morgan looked at him with eyes so tortured he had to look away. "Reid you die every time I close my eyes. I know it's crazy… and I know that I am being unreasonable and controlling and possessive and a million other ugly words that shouldn't exist between us. I'm acting like a damn mad man but…" He took a deep shuddery breath his hard gaze pining Reid. "I need to know where you are all the time. All the time, Reid. Something else could happen to you and I wouldn't be ready. I'm not…" Morgan didn't know how to explain that he panicked when he couldn't see Reid, couldn't reach him. " I can't lose you again."

"Okay" Reid scooted close pressing his chest across his lover's side, his forehead resting on the nape of Morgan's neck one hand slipping around his waist to hold him close. "Okay." After a beat he confessed, "I was trying to seduce you."

"Huh?"

"JJ picked out the clothes," He pulled at his shirttails. " You were supposed to find me sexy." Reid rolled his eyes at the thought. 'Sexy' would never in a million years be applied to him.

"Come on, you were hot, damn near irresistible."

Reid shook off the compliment as a violent blush crept up his neck. "I was going to walk up to you and say, 'I think there's something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off of you'."

Morgan snickered. "That does not sound right when you say it."

Reid pulled back leaning against the wooden spindles of the curved staircase. "I said it the way it's supposed to be said." He frowned baffled when Morgan chuckles turned into full-blown laugh. Morgan was supposed to laugh but not that hard maybe he'd said it wrong. Testing the words out loud Reid varied the nuance, going for suggestive undertones.

"Oh my god stop" Morgan laughed even harder clutching his sides.

A little peeved, Reid glanced up to defend himself further but suddenly nothing mattered more than that Derek looked happy, his white teeth gleaming head tilted to the side as he regarded Reid with warm eyes. Reid hadn't known how tense and quiet and worried he had been until one stupid pick up line turned his lover back into his old self. Impossibly drawn to him, Reid got to his knees and leaned over his lips meeting the wide mouth. "I'm still here." He whispered against the soft lips. Morgan froze for a moment before gripping Reid's elbow hard and deepening the kiss. With a thrill running down his spine Reid shivered wriggling into his embrace until he was practically in Morgan's lap, their bodies fused together.

Reid clung to him stunned by how complete he felt having Morgan's hands on him again, his lips. He grunted as the big hands slid under his ass lifting him up before bringing him down on his back at the bottom of the stairs. The new rug cushioned him from the hardwood floors his lover's body covering his from above.

Balancing on one elbow, Morgan looked at him with something akin to awe and brushed the hair out of his face. "You are still here." He murmured reverent. Reid laughed with relief, kissing him repeatedly his long legs tangling with Morgan's. Hot impatient caresses chased across his body as he basked in them until the buttons on his shirt began to pop open. Alarm bells clanging he grabbed Morgan's wandering hand pulling his shirt closed.

"Baby?"

At the quizzical stare, Reid rushed through his explanation not entirely sure that the words he spoke even made any sense especially since Morgan was staring riveted at his lips. "You haven't listened to a word I just said." Reid protested with a slight pout.

"You keep distracting me."

"I- I'm trying to explain…" Reid words ended in a high-pitched squeak when Morgan ground down between his legs. "Morgan" he whined.

"Talk fast or I will finish without you."

Reid's fist flexed clenching tight in the cotton reluctant to let go and reveal his damaged body. "Scars" He mumbled. He could feel his lips move but the roaring in his ears drowned out the sound that emerged. He could tell that he'd been heard by the way Morgan's face changed from lusty impatience as he realized the source of his distress. Reid dropped his gaze, the thought of seeing agreement in Morgan's eyes even more terrifying now that he'd spoken them out loud.

"You know I have seen them before."

_And you haven't touched me since._ "They are ugly." He jerked when Morgan's gripped the back of his knees and settled firmer between his legs before draping his body over his.

"Look at me." Morgan rumbled as the soft pad of his thumb traced over Reid's forehead and cheekbones before thumbing his bottom lip. "If you think that a few scars changes things between us then you don't know how much I love you."

"I do know."

"No, you can't possibly know. I barely know. My love for you is constantly changing and growing. Every time I think I've got a handle on it you do or say something and I'm lost all over again." His dark eyes shone with sincerity and Reid's breath caught. For the umpteenth time Reid wished he had Morgan's way with words, after a confession like that 'I love you too" felt inadequate.

"I am sorry for what I said last night." Morgan said with great difficulty. "I didn't mean a word of it."

"Then why did you say it? I never wanted him. It wasn't my fault."

"I know baby, I know." Morgan sighed resting his forehead on Reid's. "Its just when I get scared it is easier for me to get mad. Anger I can control but every time I get scared I flash back to being that dumb little kid, helpless, weak. Powerless. There were times when just the sound of …his boots on the floor, I wanted to run or hide but I was so paralyzed with fear I couldn't move."

Subconsciously, Reid hooked his feet higher on thigh his arms tightening across Morgan's broad back trying to offer comfort.

"I know it wasn't your fault. It was mine I shouldn't have left you alone." He continued in a gravelly voice. "No one should go through what I went through especially not you."

"Nothing happened. Not really and I know it's a weird thing to be thankful for but I would have ben a lot more scared if I had been completely sober." Reid laughed low and breathy. "All I wanted was to see you again"

"And I'm screwing it all up by acting like a complete asshole."

"You can make it up to me." Reid teased. Groaning when Morgan ground against him.

"You missed me huh?"

"Yes" He moaned pulling Morgan impossibly closer with his hips.

The loud buzz of the door bell stilled Morgan's descent and Reid groaned, the back of his head hitting the rug audibly as a subsequent pounding at the front door interrupted them. "Ignore it." He whispered desperately as the tail end of his request was drowned out by increased pounding and a yelled, "Derek"."

"Ah fuck." Morgan swore climbing off of him. He yanked open the front door finding his friend looking a little disheveled.

"Take care of that please." Max tossed him a rakish grin and ducked under his arm into the house slamming the door behind him. Turning Morgan found his little bitty neighbor coming up the driveway, her walking stick waving threateningly in front of her.

Reid stumbled to his feet as the tall stranger darted into the house and slammed the door behind him. He instantly recognized him as the man who had been with Morgan last night. The realization that this man had witnessed his humiliation made him uncomfortable unsure what to do in the awkward silence so Reid just stood there shuffling from foot to foot as the stranger examined him without shame.

"You must be Dr. Reid." He said with a condescending smile. "Forgive me for staring, I just thought you would be…" The tall man cocked his head and gave him an odd look. "…more."

_More._ What the hell does that mean? Reid bristled. "Who are you?"

"I'm Max." He introduced himself, saying his name like Reid should know who he was.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Yay! I updated. I know it's not as soon as you hoped, don't hate me. – Jenny crum, Irishgirl9, Kurenai cakes, Nannily, Wolfpawn, Combatcrazy, DebiGee (its been awhile since I heard from you), Sue1313, and Idontdanceigrind.**

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**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 23 **

Morgan made the long trudge back up his driveway muttering darkly to himself. Bloody Max! Why did he always have to leave a trail of distraction in his wake? And could he have showed up at a worse possible time. He burst through the front door focusing on the object of his ire oblivious to the tension ricocheting between his uninvited guest and Reid. "Why in the hell were you peeing in her rose bushes?" He roared.

"I got lost." Max gave him a nonchalant shrug. "All the houses in this suburban nightmare look the same." He laughed. "Dude, when she came right at me with that cane swinging?" Max mimicked arms waving about. "I zipped up so fast I lost some soldiers in that war if you know what I mean."

"_Everybody_ knows what you mean."

Reid's attention bounced between them. _He_ didn't know what that meant.

Morgan attempted to breath over the gnashing of his teeth. He wasn't sure what irritated him more the shrug or the laugh. Ignoring the rest of his story, he leapt on one tiny detail. "What happened to your car?"

Pausing mid sentence, Max dropped his arms and gave him a sheepish smile. "See that's the thing."

Morgan just shook his head. "There's always a thing with you."

"It wasn't my fault."

"Nothing is ever your fault."

Reid stood on the sidelines watching the two alpha males argue. His head swung from one to the other. The way they stood leaning into each other's personal space indicated a closeness that immediately rubbed him the wrong way. The argument they were having seemed old; Morgan seemed more irritated than mad, arguing for the sake of it. The other man had a slight smirk on his face like he was enjoying himself. Reid recognized him from last night, and even with the suit no longer impeccable, hair mussed and the two different shades of lipstick on his white collar he was still intimidatingly attractive.

Buttoning up his shirt, Reid backed up to the remodeled banister tamping down the spikes of insecurity. At the embarrassing rumble of his tummy he eyed the kitchen with longing dying to escape but reluctant to leave them alone together. He jumped out of the way when Clooney came flying down the stairs, claws scraping on hard wood and launched himself at Max. Expecting a vicious attack he was shocked when the yellow Lab licked him, his tail wagging into an enthusiastic blur.

"There's my boy." Max exclaimed in delight kneeling on the floor and rubbing his belly as Clooney jumped all over him.

Morgan leapt over the rambunctious duo that was now engaged in a mock tug of war. Reid felt his lover by his side but he was unable to tear his eyes away.

"He thinks he's Peter Pan." Morgan murmured by way of explanation.

"I heard that." Max yelled from under the heavy dog. "For the record this is the kind of welcome I expected."

The thought of Morgan rolling around on the floor with that man burned into Reid's brain. He wanted him out. Spinning he faced Morgan, "Who is that?" He demanded.

"That's Max." His genius' brows popped up so fast at his casual tone that Derek knew there was no getting out of the explanation. "We were roommates in college." He oversimplified. The rest of the details stuck in his throat refusing to come out. When Reid's lips pursed, he added, " I will explain every thing later."

Reid narrowed his eyes and and hissed. "That's my dog." He pointed in the direction of the human canine reunion. The mulish pout on his lips was irresistible and Morgan stole a kiss then another until Reid melted against him.

"We are both yours." Morgan vowed. Kissing him again when Reid's jaw unclenched and he nodded. "Now I'm going to help him find his car and when I get back…" He glanced over his shoulder at Max then leaned over and whispered in Reid's ear. It was short, filthy to the point and he grinned while Reid colored.

Mollified, Reid endured the formal introduction even though he did shake Max's hand with ill concealed rancor. The other man seemed determined to antagonize him at every turn; he walked around like he owned the place. Prepared breakfast, finished the milk in the carton – _the bastard_ – Reid preferred his coffee black but still. It was rude. Clooney dogged his footsteps in endless circles around his kitchen. . Obviously Max had stayed over more than a couple of times.

When he took a shower and emerged in Morgan's clothes, Reid had had enough.

He hurried upstairs finding Morgan in their bedroom. Hanging back Reid didn't know how to bring up the question of Max without seeming jealous or like he didn't trust Morgan. He did. Sort of.

"Hey" Morgan came right up to him and cupped his chin. "What's wrong?"

Reid chewed on his lip not sure if he really wanted to know. "Were you just friends?"

Morgan dropped his hand and backed up looking shifty. "We used to hook up, kinda. We were not a couple but…he was the first guy…I mean after Buford…he was the first."

As much as he tried not to let it, Reid's "Oh!" came out as small and as lost as he felt. "The first" Reid repeated under his breath. Max was the first guy he ever enjoyed being with sexually, he was probably the reason why he headed down this path that led him straight to Reid. He couldn't compete with that. Saying people never forgot their first was a cliché but clichés were clichés for a reason mostly because they were true.

"Max is a good guy." Morgan implored. "He can be a complete asshole but it's just an act. His parents are cold; they really did a number on him. I have never met two people less suited to become parents. They threw money at him and ignored him except for the holidays when they'd drag him out and parade his achievements in front of their friends. Everybody he met since was more interested in his money…" Instead of calming Reid down his explanation was winding him up more, he was paler and looked like he was collapsing in on himself. Morgan had hoped that if they ever met they would get along but it was looking less and less likely. "He doesn't mean to - he's just used to getting what he wants."

"Does he want you?"

"No." Morgan laced their hands together. "I promise you. Nothing is going on between us now and nothing ever will. I love you. Only you." He smiled when Reid laid a deep and possessive kiss on him.

He was still smiling when he sped down the highway with a nervous, antsy Max at his side fiddling with every button within reach as the fingers of his left hand drummed on the dashboard. Morgan chose not to pry, Max would speak when he chose to not before. Unfortunately the first thing he said was the wrong thing.

"So that's the little woman?"

"Don't call him that he's not a girl." Morgan reprimanded him absently as he speed dialed Garcia.

"I don't know, man. The pretty face and the floppy hair how can you even tell the difference? He seems like the swooning type."

"He's stronger than he looks." Morgan decided to head over when Garcia didn't pick up. "Anyway this not about him it's about you, you and your dumb ass decisions."

"You left me alone in a bar while you went chasing after your wife. How did you think it was going to end?"

"I thought that you are adult that shouldn't need constant supervision. I didn't expect you to give your $200,000 Ferrari to some chick."

"Guy" He snapped. "And I only lent it to him."

"You know a guy named Charlotte?"

"When did you get so judgmental? So what if he likes to wear a dress? Does it make him a freak if he wants to be Charles by day and Charlotte by night?"

"What the hell is going on with you?" Morgan's patience run out at the unprovoked attack. "Spit it out."

"Spit it out." Max mocked. "You've turned into a sanctimonious ass. We used to be a mess together." He gestured rapidly his finger flipping between them. "Now you're all happy and fulfilled and I'm the only one that's broken."

"Maxie!" Morgan was surprised when the nickname spilled out of him. It had been so long since he'd said it but that hurt behind that statement was impossible to ignore. Max was his oldest friend. He'd spent years bailing him out of one jam after another driven to protect him but after he met Reid those protective feelings had transferred. "Man, I didn't mean to shut you out. I had no idea how to explain you to Reid."

"Oh great the little woman again!"

"I just told him that you are a great guy…"

"You're lying to him already? This will be over sooner than I thought."

Morgan studied Max. His mutinous expression, the way he was angled away from him with his forehead pressed against the glass, he'd never seen him so worked up. It was presumptuous to assume that he was jealous of Reid and wanted to be him. All those years ago their relationship had never gotten off the ground and Max is the one that hadn't wanted more. Feeling the beginning of a headache Morgan focused on the road not the messy journey that might lie ahead.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**My amazing reviewers thank you. – Combatcrazy, Irishgirl9, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Kurenai cakes, Sue1313, BertieBott62442 and Elephantluva.**

**The Lost and the Broken**

**Chapter 24 **

Morgan glanced over at Max as he chatted with Garcia. Their ride over had been made in complete silence and he was relieved that his friend was acting relatively normal – normal for him. He could hear them laughing, heads bent forward close to the computer screen as she ran an illegal search through the Ramrod's security network. It had taken some doing to find out what bar Max had ended up at seeing as he'd blind drunk. Since Ramrod was the hottest gay bar in town, it made sense that he wound up there.

"There she is." Max yelled pointing out the tall slim 'lady' in a black leather cat suit.

"Are you sure that's a guy?" Garcia scrutinized the smooth unlined crotch area for the telltale bump. "Is he a magician?"

"Oh believe me it's there." Max grinned naughtily nudging her.

Garcia exploded into peals of laughter. "How is this the first time we are meeting in person?" She threw Morgan a mock glare. "He's so fun."

"He's a hoot and a half." Morgan returned sardonically.

"Okay" She mumbled turning back to her screen and running the face recognition software.

Morgan paced as she worked. He wanted to go home to Reid. Knowing he'd killed the mood in the room only made him want to escape faster.

"Found him." Garcia crowed, pulling up Charles Thorn's drivers license. "No criminal record. Hey, what do you know he works at the DMV? That is the bizarro topping on this zaniest of sundaes. Get it. Sundae because today is Sunday." She giggled at the odd joke, choking down her laughter when it fell flat. The two protagonists ignored her too busy glaring at each other.

She tapped Max. "I'll just send the address to your phone." Amazed by how incredibly his face changed, softened from a hard mask into McHottie as he heaped her with effusive praise, kissing her on both cheeks as he made to leave.

Morgan took a deep breath mentally preparing for round two. Another couple of tense hours in the SUV was exactly what he needed. Yippee!

He paused in his tracks when Max's words stopped him. "I can handle it on my own."

Morgan exploded. "You dragged me out of my house and NOW you don't need me anymore. You know, this is typical. Typical. You breeze in and screw everything up…" Years of pent up rage battered repeatedly at his self-control throwing him back into the past, old issues rearing up faster than he could suppress. "All I asked you for a conversation to see if we could be anything. A simple conversation. Do you know what it took for me to open myself up to you like that?"

"I am not a complete idiot, Derek. I know what I lost."

"You left a puppy on my doorstep. A puppy not a note because that would be too normal." Mirthless laughter spilled out of him. "Then you took off for Palm Beach or Venice Beach with some girl with a guy's name. Now it is guys in girls clothing." He pointed at the computer screen on which Charles' photo was still prominently displayed. "You were right earlier. We were broken together…I am finally healing. It is slow and painful but Reid's getting me there. You are still a mess. So whatever you're after – NO!"

Morgan stood in the middle of the room, chest heaving, blood racing, and the silence was heavy after all the yelling.

Max's eyes glittered with unshed tears as he hang back, shoulders hunched like he'd taken a few rounds. "I am sorry I run from you. I regret it everyday." He shuffled forward collapsing onto Garcia's couch both of them blind to her presence as she hovered rapt in the background.

Morgan sat beside him already regretting the impulse to bare it all.

"You know why I'm such a mess all the time?" Max groaned. "No matter how badly I screwed up you were always there. You'd yell and lecture me for hours but you showed up. You are the first person in my life that did. No matter how fast or how far I ran, knowing you were here, waiting, brought me comfort. Then the way you talked about your 'boy'…it scared me and I completely lost it. I thought…God I don't know what I thought. That he was temporary. Seeing you together last night finally drove it home. You should have seen your face… I have made out with strangers right in front of you and you've never been as mad as you were just because some 'roided up gym rat was touching him."

His hand grabbed Morgan's and laced their fingers together. "Just because I reacted badly doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy. I do. More than anything. Maybe someday it will happen for me too. With Charlotte."

"You mean Charles."

"Oh right. It's daytime." He smirked then squeezed Morgan's hand. "I can take care of myself. I always could but I miss my friend. I get that our relationship has to evolve. Besides at the rate you're going, you are going to need a best man and no one looks better in an ascot than I do."

"We are not wearing ascots."

"That's what you think."

"Max"

"Go home Dere." He kissed him and headed out the door. "I'll be fine. Thanks Penelope."

Morgan got up, the solid concrete feeling like the only steady ground he'd been on since dawn. Garcia looked like she'd been run over by a truck. Ah! The Max Effect! He rubbed at his lips, the softness lingering as he said goodbye. Stunned he realized that part of the reason he was so insanely jealous when Reid even looked at someone else was because Max had left him without a backward glance. He constantly worried that Reid would do the same.

"Are you okay?" Garcia made a face then hugged him. The hair piled on top of her head tickled his nose.

"I need to go home." He smiled. " I need Reid."

xxXxx

Reid tossed the ball again watching Clooney tear after it. This is what he'd been reduced to: bribing his dog into loving him again. He crumpled up the empty dog biscuit wrapper dropping it to the step beside him and tucked his cold hands into the pockets of his fleece-lined jacket. The tips of his ears were numb but standing outside pretending to do something was better than sitting inside in the warm empty house while Morgan ran around town with his 'friend'.

"Clooney" He yelled when the dog began to dig in a corner of the yard. Great, even the pooch had abandoned him. He stepped off the steps to go after him when the buzzing of his phone distracted him.

In his eagerness he yanked it out without checking the caller ID and pressed it to his ear. "Morgan. When are you coming home?" He whined.

He felt foolish at the dark chuckle he got in response. The enemy. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

"About what?" Reid spat out over the quickening of his pulse. Max brought out the worst in him. He'd gotten so used to being in love and loved the thought that this irreverent jerk could take it away from him made his blood boil. Resentment and jealousy spewed out of him. "You can't have him. Morgan is mine." He sounded like a petulant four year old.

"We got off on the wrong foot. That was my fault – mostly."

"Mostly…" Reid spluttered.

"I'm trying to say that I am sorry. Next time we meet up hopefully things won't be so awkward between us."

Cursing his ingrained good manners, Reid agreed. "So you're leaving? He asked hopefully with great cheer.

"Yeah."

Reid wondered if it was possible for someone to hear you do a happy dance over the phone and he was mid jig when Max's tone changed. Since they'd met he'd snarky and rude. The earnestness in his voice was new and demanded an audience.

"Listen I know that it's not my place anymore and I don't want to step on any toes but I have known Derek for over fifteen years I can tell when he's hurting. He won't talk to me maybe – _now that he's yours_ - you can get him to open up."

Reid barely noticed as Clooney dropped the ball at his feet, nosing him for attention. He knew Morgan was going through something; he was quieter a lot more withdrawn, sleeping even less than he had before James.

"You take care of him, okay?" Max continued. "And if you need anything, anything at all you call me."

The wet ball flew across the yard, slobber sticking to his hand like the unpleasant realization did to his heart. "You love him."

"He loves you." Max sidestepped the revelation. "Don't fuck it up and when it comes up just remember that you are pro ascots."

"Pro what?" He asked dazed. The dial tone echoed in his ear, Max leaving just as suddenly as he'd arrived.

Reid stood still at the bottom of the porch struggling with his thoughts. Despite the chill in the air there was no frost on the ground. The two massive trees bordering the property had lost their leaves and through the thick branches he could make out the Tillman's dark roof and behind that the blue of feisty widow Forbes' house. To the right he could hear the manic screaming of the eight year old Kaye twins and future unsubs, Eric and Ethan. This was his home. He loved it but how much was he willing to sacrifice to keep it?

He leaned back as strong arms wrapped around his waist. "What are you doing out here?" Morgan rumbled pressing soft kisses up his neck. "You're cold."

Reid spun round. With Morgan a step above him he buried his face in his neck embracing him back.

"I'm sorry I took so long." Morgan said stroking his hair. "Max can be…impossible."

"It's ok, he's your friend and he needed you. I should get to know him better." He colored as Morgan pushed him back with a skeptical look.

"Is the cold making you lose IQ points? Are you planning some diabolical prank to get back at me?"

"Now who's thinking too much?" Reid shoved him playfully then kissed him as Morgan hands snaked under his jacket stroking his skin, warming him inside and out.


End file.
